What to do if the wife changed: the advice of a psychologist

For any man, regardless of age, unfaithfulness will be a real shock. When a husband catches his wife in treason, he does not know what to do. Constant reflection and clarification of the causes of what is happening literally drive you crazy. The man is simply lost, puzzling over the question: "Forgive or let go?". Let's figure it out together, despair early.

Why did the wife cheat

In any serious matter, it is worth starting from the true causes of what is happening, let's try to find them out in order to partially alleviate the situation or find an answer for ourselves why she did it.

1. Women are sensual beings; they seek love in everything. Perhaps your spouse met a man who caused a fleeting sympathy. In this case, she realizes that everything is not serious, but the lady is still drawn to him.
2. If you suspected your wife of infidelity, perhaps she wanted revenge. Representatives of the weak half can not always come to terms with the anger and resentment that are deep in the soul.
3. Perhaps one of the most common reasons is the lack of attention on the part of her husband. If the husband ceases to admire his wife, forgets about elementary compliments and support in difficult times, she will look for all this on the side.
4. In cases where a lady and a lover are connected only by intimacy, betrayal could occur due to sexual problems. If the light went out in your bed, the woman was not satisfied. These are commonplace physiological needs.
5. When infidelity is seen by an overly impulsive and emotional woman, it can be assumed that adultery was a spontaneous decision. In such situations, the girl’s psycho-emotional environment quickly returns to normal, she cries, is ashamed and prays for forgiveness.
6. If a strong and independent woman has changed, who has no one to have fun with except her lover, this is understandable. Often this applies to business and busy women who do not receive the care of their husbands and cannot at least relax for a moment.
7. Do not lose sight of the old relationship. Many ladies mistakenly believe that sex with the former is not considered a betrayal. More precisely, deep down they regret, but not in the way current husbands would like.
8. Carefully analyze the environment in which your spouse spends a lot of time. If only frivolous persons circled around her, they could “convey” their beliefs to their wife. That is, she is corny tangled.

What to do immediately after the betrayal

1. If you caught your soulmate on infidelity, do not throw a tantrum. Try to behave calmly and indifferently, weigh each word. First you need to put pressure on her conscience, which should wake up.
2. Find an opportunity for your own privacy. You do not need to share with your friends about the betrayal, because everything said afterwards will be their thoughts, not yours. It is necessary to understand yourself.
3. You must decide forgive her or not. If the answer is yes, get ready for difficulties in the relationship, because even after 5 years you will remember it. If not, tune in to a bachelor’s life.
4. If you do not mind going to the bar or sitting down at the TV with a bottle of beer, follow the measure. No need to drown what happened in alcohol, keep a sound mind.
5. Remember one truth - if a person made a mistake 1 time, he can still be forgiven. But when a mistake occurs twice, thrice, run away from your wife.
6. Also, do not let out anger at the one with whom the spouse was caught. A lover might not know that a woman has a husband. This is a very thin line that you need to clarify before waving your fists.

When you can save a relationship

Experienced specialists who have been working in the field of psychology for more than one year give their recommendations on this subject.

1. If you really love your wife, don’t cut it hot. Analyze yourself, your character, then after a while make a decision. No need to scream out loud that you hate her. Anger will pass, past emotions will flare up, black will sooner or later hide behind white.
2. Once you find time for solitude and think it over, try talking calmly with your wife. Find out why she did this. Draw your conclusions, then make a decision without rushing.
3. Pay special attention to a woman if she repents, cries, and sincerely regrets. Find out the exact cause of the infidelity, then take time to think. When you come to your senses and fully accept the situation, you can begin to restore relations.

How to restore relations

1. After such an incident, it is difficult for men to immediately recover from an emotional blow. Often comes depression. This condition is quite dangerous, do not underestimate it. An unstable psycho-emotional background can seriously harm health in general.
2. You can still get out of this state after the betrayal, you need to properly tune in and prepare for it. Please note that it will take some time to restore the previous state. It doesn’t matter if you decide to leave or forgive your spouse.
3. To alleviate the condition a little, you can talk with a psychologist. The specialist will give useful tips. At the therapy session, it is necessary to discuss all pressing issues and understand how to restore the old relationship.
4. Analyze the situation and subconsciously convince yourself that the betrayal of a beloved woman could be an accident. This will never happen again. Throw away all negative and obsessive thoughts about the situation.
5. If you have enough free time, do extra work. Work more, visit the gym, take time for your favorite hobby. Experts say that such a pastime will cure heartache.
6. You can also continue to communicate with each other and push the situation into the background. Behave as if you live with a neighbor, no need to open up. Otherwise, you can hurt each other. Close your inner space, think alone.
7. Develop with friends, organize vacations without spouse. Such a decision will be correct on any side. You can check how you deal with jealousy and show how much you trust your companion. This feeling kills the relationship, so you need to fight it.
8. It is worth remembering that everything that was before is over. If you want to return your spouse, you need to start from scratch. Build relationships with small confident steps. Before you start all over again, try to find out why such a thing happened at all.
9. Pay more attention to your companion, please. If a woman made a gross mistake and really loves you, wants to fix it, you will see it. The wife will try to help you. No need to recall the past, live in the present.
10. Gradually start to talk more and more on diverse topics. Try not to argue. Understand that the game should not be in one goal, it's not you who are to blame. If you see that the woman is not trying to fix everything, end the relationship immediately.
11. In other cases, support your spouse. Remember the first days of your meeting, you were happy. Bring back the old time and remember the moments experienced together. You need to understand that after all, you are still well together.
12. If you are wise enough people, then it will take a little time to restore the old relationship. Without hesitation, embark on a journey. Arrange yourself a second honeymoon. Surround each other with tenderness and attention. Fall in love with a new one. Create a romantic atmosphere.

When there is no chance to save a marriage

1. To save the old relationship will not work if the spouse periodically goes to the left, and also practically does not repent of what happened. You must not drag this marriage through power.
2. If in response to her betrayal, you changed as well. In this case, the barrier of fidelity between spouses is completely broken, it makes no sense to restore something if both do not strive for this.
3. It will not be possible to restore the marriage bond, if after “forgiveness” you try to forget everything, but through each sentence you reproach your wife and humiliate her. Subsequently, the understanding comes that the question of infidelity has hung in the air and remained unresolved.
4. Do not rely on the opinions of relatives who encourage you to forgive your spouse just because you have joint children. The child will live in constant skirmishes and reproaches, he will form the wrong image of the family.
5. If after the conversation the spouse confessed her real feelings to the stranger, do not hold her. Do not even try to forgive, ask the lady to leave. It should be understood that after this you can not take it back.

Wife cheated with boss - what to do?

1. Most believe that if the wife slept with the boss, she was prompted by career growth and a large material increase in her salary. Not always this happens. If a companion made a mistake once, the matter may be completely different.
2. Analyze your relationship with your spouse before this event. Perhaps you are constantly cursing and greatly estranged from each other. Over time, the woman tolerated all this and morally tuned to misconduct.
3. If you did not pay due attention, feelings of tenderness to your wife, then the reason is obvious. Rare sex and a cold relationship of spouses leads to such acts. Therefore, do not think that everything happened because of money. The boss was simply there at the right time.
4. In this case, first of all, you need to sit down and talk normally. Find out the reason for such an act. Ask your wife why there was a need for another man. If a betrayal occurs, no matter on whose part, both are to blame. Happy people do not have this.

Practical recommendations

1. If you find out about the betrayal of your spouse, do not rush to commit rash actions. Try to clarify everything as much as possible. Otherwise, one may regret spontaneous decisions.
2. Move away for a while and cool. Calm down and put your thoughts on the shelves. Talk with a half on a cold head. Calmly discuss what happened.
3. If it happened that the lover has serious intentions, and the wife sympathizes with this, do not hold her. All is lost, have dignity and do not humble yourself. Do not go in vain.
4. Pay attention to how sincerely the spouse repents. In this case, it is worth finding out the cause of the bad act. Visit a family psychologist if necessary.

Cheating on his wife is a rather difficult situation. Women decide on this after long deliberation. Therefore, calmly find out the reason for the act. In most cases, the reason lies in your personal relationship. If you have long cooled to each other, do not be surprised. Try to fix it or release your wife.

Video: how to forgive treason