What to do if the child is nervous and naughty

The content of the article

1 Why a child becomes naughty
2 Hyperactive children
3 How to raise a nervous and naughty child
4 Video: how to deal with uncontrollable children

Each child is an individuality that does not depend on external factors. Of course, upbringing plays an important role in the formation of the child’s personality, but the nature that was laid at birth is of much greater importance. Often in the same family two different children grow up - calm, balanced and nervous, naughty. How can this be, because parenting and parenting are identical? What to do in this case - to break the core of the crumbs or give up on him and not pay attention to his antics? Today we will talk about the poor behavior of the child - why children become nervous and naughty, how to establish contact with the child and correct the situation on time.

Why a child becomes naughty

Many mothers and fathers with the birth of a child decide to raise a baby in an atmosphere of love and trust, especially if they themselves grew in severity in childhood. But often excessive trepidation, love and indulgence of whims does not bring anything good. The child ceases to feel the limits of what is permitted, he often checks the limit of parental patience. Why is the child behaving badly, not obeying, nervous? Here are a few common reasons.

Trying to get attention. This often happens when parents work and there is no time for an elementary intimate conversation with a child. Mom runs up tired from work, picks up the child from school or kindergarten. The child wants to share his impressions for the day, but mom dismisses, says that you need to cook dinner before dad comes and tidy up. The kid is waiting for dad, but he is tired and wants to lie down in front of the TV. The child understands that in order to attract attention, something extraordinary must be done and often this is manifested by disobedience.
Checks who is in charge. The child psychologically tries to probe the boundaries of what is permitted. This often happens after a long stay with my grandparents, where everything is allowed. After such an attitude, the child thinks that his parents will accept him as well, but, unfortunately, this does not happen. And often the conflict develops into disobedience. Of course, the tone of command is not the best choice for raising a child, but the baby should always know and understand that you are adults who need to be listened to.
Low self-esteem. Sometimes a child is raised in an atmosphere of humiliation and prohibition. When the baby is constantly being compared with someone, they say that he will not succeed, and in general, he is weak and ugly, the child builds a protective wall around him, he does not listen and snarls.
Jealousy. Sometimes children 4-7 years old begin to behave badly if a small brother or sister appears in the family. The child can begin to write in his pants, like a baby, stops cleaning after himself, behaves untidy, asks to change clothes and feed from a spoon. The appearance of a baby in the house is a lot of stress for the older child, you must survive the situation together.
Responsiveness. Sometimes children start to get nervous and behave badly in response to adult behavior. If you have not fulfilled this promise, deceived the child or betrayed his feelings, the baby cannot make a claim, he shows resentment in this way.
Frequent bans. A child simply protests because of constant parental prohibitions and is often quite justified. Regular prohibitions lose the value of the word "No". Leave the ban only on dangerous moments that threaten the life and health of the child. Do not take a knife, touch a hot kettle, climb into a power outlet.But you can dig into the sand, and you can run through the puddles, it’s better to wash and dry your clothes once more than to build a wall of mistrust and prohibitions in front of the child.

There are many different reasons for disobedience that are somehow related to the above factors. But what if the cause of the disobedience is hyperactivity?

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Hyperactive children

Often, disobedience and nervousness does not indicate gaps in education, but attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. This is not just a characteristic, it is a neurological diagnosis that only a doctor can make. But remember, it is impossible to attribute a diagnosis to each bully, you need to clearly distinguish between problems with education and violations in terms of neurology. Hyperactivity, as a rule, occurs even in the prenatal period if the mother was deprived of some vitamins or minerals, with fetal hypoxia, if the woman was nervous or took potent medications during pregnancy.

Hyperactive children are restless, they quickly change their occupation, grabbing at one or the other. It is hard for such children at school; they cannot sit quietly even for a few minutes. Manifestations of ADHD are already noticeable from infancy - such babies sleep poorly and have little sleep, they are constantly tossing and turning. Hyperactive children cannot stand still, they are constantly running, jumping, spinning or jumping. Impatience is their main companion. Such children cannot wait for something or someone, they are very talkative, often interrupt and scream. Children with a diagnosis of ADHD are very sensitive to criticism, nervous, do not listen to adults. If you find similar symptoms in your child, you should definitely consult a neurologist. Understand that your baby is not to blame for the fact that his neural connections work this way, and nothing else. But in order for the child to learn to perceive information and to study well at school, the diagnosis must be treated. To do this, the doctor can prescribe medication soothing drugs that you need to drink in courses. This will help not only you, but also your child. But the most important thing is to work with a psychologist and build an adequate educational process.

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How to raise a nervous and naughty child

If the baby does not have neurological health problems, then his behavior is the result of your upbringing or its absence. Here are some practical tips to help you rectify the situation.

Calm, only calm! Tantrums and various manifestations of disobedience are designed for your reaction. Try always and in everything to remain calm and adequate parents. The kid lay down on the floor and threw a tantrum - do not react, because the child is only waiting for this. Continue to calmly go about your business until he calms down. Of course, it can be quite difficult to do on the street, but you can only uproot such habits by completely ignoring it.
Talk heart to heart. Every day, find time for the child. Listen to his anxieties and feelings, build a confidential conversation and do not scold for the truth. If today you scold the baby for recognition of a broken vase, tomorrow he simply will not tell you about it. And in the teenage period, you’ll completely lose a thin thread of trust. In order for a child to listen to you at the age of 15-20, you need to listen to him in early childhood and not neglect his problems. After all, a lost toy is just as important for him as an undelivered report for you. Listen to the child, give him advice, experience troubles and joys together. And then the baby will not have unspoken claims and hidden grievances.
Do not Cry! The child screams because he wants you to hear him, often he cannot express his emotions in a different way. Do not be like a child, explain everything calmly.If the baby is nervous, tell him that you love him with anyone, even when he is angry.
Stick to the rules. The child should know that there are few prohibitions, but they are unshakable. You can not play with a power outlet, on any day of the week, at any time of the day, neither a child nor an adult can. Be consistent in your decisions. Threatened to give toys to a neighbor if the child does not remove them? Keep your promise. And then next time the baby will think a hundred times whether to ignore your request for cleaning. Parents should be soft and hard at the same time.
Do not push, seek compromises. You are an adult who should not go on principle. The child does not want to eat soup - leave him alone, eat a little later. My daughter refuses to wear a beautiful dress for a visit - let her put on what she likes, not you. Give in to you child. The kid does not want to collect toys? Offer to do this together or say that after harvesting you will drink cocoa together. The easiest way to scream and force. But this is not your goal. The child should not be afraid of parents, he should respect them.
Set an example. How should a child follow some rules if you yourself do not adhere to them? The child should look at you and understand that you need to be respectful to people, brush your teeth twice a day, and wash your hands after a walk. How can you demand a child do sports if you yourself are constantly lying on the couch in front of the TV? If a child sees how mom and dad respect each other, he is unlikely to allow himself to humiliate someone.
Do not crush the child. Very often aggression is born at the moment when mom says - it is impossible, because I have shown so. That is, the ban is placed only on the basis of your authority. Do not do this in any case. It is necessary to explain to the baby why this should not be done. Be sure to talk to your child at his level - sit down or take the baby on your knees. Only in the "eye to eye" position can you achieve a confidential conversation.
Take the baby. Often disobedience arises amid boredom or idleness, when the baby just does not know how else to entertain himself. Invite your child to play something. An excellent calming effect is possessed by drawing, drawing up applications, modeling. In addition, collaborative activities will help you make contact.

The main thing in educational work is patience. Try not to be mad at your child, put yourself in his place. Do not scold the baby for a wet puddle on the floor - she just tried to correct her mistake and wipe the spilled yogurt. Raising a child is a whole philosophy. And if you put understanding, patience, care and love into the baby, the child will answer you the same. And he will become a man who can love, compassion and understand his neighbor.

Do not spill negativity on a naughty child, even if it is very difficult to do. Gather your will into a fist and educate, talk, disassemble, be friends. The formation and upbringing of a child is daily work, but it depends only on you what the baby will be tomorrow, and how he will relate to different people and situations. Support, patience and parental love can melt even the most callous baby heart. Treat the child with understanding, and he will certainly answer you the same!

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