How to get rid of loneliness

The nature of man is such that, in essence, he cannot live alone. The social foundations of life evolved over the centuries, at all times people have tried to exist in groups, communities. This was the key to safety and survival. In the modern world, a person can independently earn his living, he no longer needs to hide from mammoths, only the desire to live with his own kind remains ...

Urban conditions increasingly drive us into a tight framework, when after work a lonely person goes to an empty house, sits up at a computer. From contacts with friends and relatives there are only short phone calls and messages with congratulations on the holidays. What is a feeling of loneliness, what are its causes and how to deal with it, let's try to figure it out.

What is loneliness?

There are two types of loneliness - real and spiritual. Real loneliness is a case when a person is physically left alone - he has no family, friends, acquaintances. This is a rather rare situation that often occurs after tragic events. If a person instantly loses loved ones and relatives, a feeling of grief is tightly interwoven with a feeling of loneliness and uselessness. Such people often need professional psychological support. Forced loneliness also includes the feelings of people in solitary confinement in prisons or by the nature of their professional activities - lighthouse keepers, foresters, polar explorers.

The most common feeling of loneliness is when there are friends, family, relatives and close people, but there is no understanding, sympathy and warmth. It seems to man that no one hears him. Most often this occurs during adolescence. He is no longer a child, but not yet an adult, he wants to be independent, but he does not always succeed. Internal conflicts lead to the state "I am the only one in this world."

Another category prone to loneliness is mature people who have not found their soul mate. In fact, this is a rather difficult situation when everything around is blocked by a wall of stereotypes and frames. We come home where only a cat is waiting for us, and even that cat scratches in the shower.

Reasons for loneliness

Why can't a man find a man / woman to his liking? Why is "everything seems to be with you", and the relationship does not work out? Here are a few psychological reasons why we, without knowing it, build a kind of protective barrier in front of us.

Sometimes very shy people remain alone. They are afraid not only to speak first, but even to look into the eyes of an object of interest. Perhaps they believe that all the people around are of a higher level and with any awkward movement, these people will start to laugh and mock. You need to clearly understand that all people are different, and certainly there is a person who is similar in views to you, who is also timid and vulnerable, with whom you will be on the same wavelength. How can you get to know him if none of you take the first step?

"They are not worthy of me." Often the bar for choosing a partner is so high that getting to it is not so easy. It is quite difficult to find a person who spends all time with his family, earns a lot of money, and also prepares delicious dishes. Dreaming of a prince, you can not see the happiness that is under your nose.

"They will not love me." The reason for low self-esteem is also very common in human psychology. “Who needs me, ugly, fat, with a small salary and without higher education?” But a person loves not for pieces of paper, not for diplomas and certificates. Everything happens in the shower. Therefore, to get rid of this complex, you just need to love yourself.Go in for sports, buy beautiful clothes, start learning some language, sign up for dancing - anything. You need to do what you have long dreamed of. Love yourself and you will certainly be noticed.

Modern life is arranged in such a way that a huge number of potential life companions pass by us daily. But you do not need to make the goal of your whole life out of this and write down the item “Find a husband / wife” in the to-do list. When we look at representatives of the opposite sex as prey, few people will like it. This is especially true for women - which of the men will like it if the hunt opens for him? Change your attitude. You need to move away from this problem a bit, relax and take care of yourself. Open to the world and it will give you a worthy gift.

How to get rid of loneliness

How to get rid of loneliness? How to understand that you are not alone, and the world is beautiful and diverse with all its colors? Here are some practical tips that can improve your psychological state and permanently rid yourself of loneliness.

1. Get a pet. Animals are very smart creatures. They understand a lot more than we expect. Take a walk around the bird market and look at every four and feathered representative. There is no doubt that you will meet your real friend there, who will make you forget about loneliness. Animals very subtly feel the emotional state of a person and are able to empathize, cheer and cheer. If you are a calm and domestic person, get a cat. She is as loyal as she is independent. If you are an outdoor enthusiast, you need a dog. This faithful friend will never leave you in trouble.
2. A change of scenery. Often, thoughts of loneliness arise during the monotony of the course of life. Need to change this rhythm. The best thing is to travel to those countries where you have never been before. Embark on a journey of savage - this will not only save finances, but also give a lot of unprecedented impressions. If there is no opportunity to go on a trip, then change your job or occupation, go visit your grandmother or uncle in a neighboring city, make repairs, or at least relocate. Any movement in life leads to change, says an ancient Chinese proverb.
3. Make yourself a pen pal. Why do we pour out the soul of a random companion whom we do not even know? Perhaps because we see him for the first and, most likely, for the last time. It is easier for a stranger to reveal his secrets and experiences. The World Wide Web makes it possible to find a person and pour out his soul to him. And if you do not want, he will never know your name and place of residence. With strong feelings, psychologists advise to pour everything on paper, turn pain and tears into letters and words. Again and again returning to the monitor, you are freed from loneliness, turning it into fluent lines. And if you're lucky, you will find yourself a good, kind friend.
4. Do not compare. This is the main problem of modern civilization. “Look, Masha has been married for a year now, and Sveta has already given birth to two, and what am I? “Don’t sew the mare’s tail.” It is not right. Everyone has their own life, their own destiny. How do you know how your girlfriends actually live? Perhaps Masha quarrels with her husband every other day, and Sveta is so tired of life, children and work that her mother does not grieve. Live your life and never compare yourself with others.
5. Be open to the world and new relationships. You need to go out more often, attend various events. If your loneliness is connected with the absence of a second half, draw for yourself the desired image. Think about where you can meet such a person. Do not strive to meet a homeworker, a hard worker in a night club - he just does not go there. If you meet in hot places, be prepared for the fact that most likely a person will be a frivolous guy who loves parties.More often go to city festivals, to visit, to events of interest. There you can meet a like-minded person. And be open. No need to be rude and rude if someone is trying to get to know you on the street. And if you like a person, there is nothing wrong with saying the first to say a few fleeting words.

How to overcome the fear of loneliness

You too can pay more attention to your inner self. At such moments, you can discover a lot. When you are alone with your own thoughts, you begin to understand your true desires and values. Loneliness has a very thin line with such a concept as “freedom”. Perhaps you are not alone, but free? If you cannot change the situation, change your attitude towards it. Live easily, openly, and enjoy what you have. This is not given to everyone.

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