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The feeling of love inspires and makes you live. It gives wings and throws to the ground. However, love is not always mutual and happy. Quite often situations happen in life, as a result of which we have no other options how to forget a person. But this is not so easy. How to forget the person with whom all thoughts are occupied? How to get rid of a painful feeling that brings only suffering? And is this possible in principle? Let's try to answer these questions.
What is love addiction
Love addiction is similar to alcoholic and narcotic illness. Man is constantly attracted to the object of adoration, he idealizes it to such an extent that he does not see any shortcomings in it. At times, the dependent person understands and realizes that this feeling will not bring anything good, but in most cases nothing can be done about it.
Love dependence is an obsession with owning a partner, no matter what. Dependence forces us to take extreme measures - to chase a person, pester him with unnecessary calls and messages, stifle unnecessary attention and care. But most of all, addiction harms the person himself. After all, his soul is tormented, his heart suffers, and in his thoughts there is no one but HIM (HER). In such circumstances, it is difficult to live, develop, communicate, work or study, and most importantly, it is difficult to find a suitable alternative and replacement for the partner. If the addiction is strong, sometimes a person can remain alone for life.
Reasons for love addiction
But why is this happening? Why does a person, being a self-sufficient person and a completely self-confident individual, lose his pride? Why does he subordinate all his thoughts, actions and emotions to one object? Here are a few reasons.
- Lack of self-esteem. Surely you have met people in your life who are very insecure. Such people hold on to any possibility of relations with the opposite sex, and even with a refusal, they try to return the relationship. For them, the terrible loss is not of a specific person, but of the very fact of the relationship. Such people are deeply convinced that they are fat, ugly, poor and generally not worthy of love. Therefore, they partake and break up very deeply.
- Lack of parental heat. Many psychological problems come from childhood. And a strong love affair is no exception. Often, long suffering for a departed love occurs in people who are not liked in childhood. And vice versa, if a person sees a happy relationship model in the form of his own parents, and he himself cannot build such a cell, he suffers and suffers.
- Stopping personal growth. Often in relationships where there is a leader and a follower, one person stops in his development. There is a banal degradation. If a person stops learning, working, striving for goals and achievements, he begins to look with envy at his more successful partner. Over time, envy turns into pathological jealousy and manic fear of losing a partner.
- Deification of the partner. Sometimes it happens that you idealize a partner, exaggerate his dignity, do not see the flaws. At the same time, you are belittling yourself and your worth in this world. You are already happy that such a deity paid attention to you. Therefore, often the loss of a partner becomes a tragedy on a large scale.
Symptoms of love addiction
As said, true love is kind and patient. She is not exalted, not jealous, does not boast, does not doubt and is not irritated. True love trusts and forgives.But sometimes love is painful. From her there is no joy and happiness, but only suffering. How to distinguish truth from a fake? Here are a few symptoms by which you can distinguish true love from love addiction.
- In true love, you realize that there is a personal space of the partner in which he must remain without you. A loved one understands that there is work / study, during which you do not need to name and disturb him for nothing. Beloved people feel good together and apart, they manage to get bored, which makes their meeting even sweeter. And here is a painful affection - when you cannot spend a minute without a partner.
- True love gives beautiful, positive feelings - pleasure, inspiration, harmony. Addiction brings only insecurity into a person’s life, fear, jealousy and alarming.
- In true relationships, you are happy that the person you love is also in love with you. But a symptom of addiction is a constant fear of losing a loved one.
- If a pair contains signs of dominance of one partner over another, this is also considered one of the signs of dependence. When a person cannot get enough response feelings, he begins to subjugate a weaker partner.
How to get rid of a love affair for a man
Women are more emotional, and, as a result, more prone to love addiction. If for some reason you parted with a man, if he betrayed you, abandoned you or simply did not reciprocate, it is important to survive this condition correctly. Make a decision first - do you want to return this person by any means, or want to finish the story. If you made the second decision, here are some ways to less painfully endure a love affair.
- Begin by realizing this moment. Understand that sick love and unrequited feelings will not lead to anything good. Love yourself and feel like a queen. Take a look in the mirror. After all, you are a beautiful, wise woman. Are you worth it?
- Love and pamper yourself. But not delicious cakes, but massage, fitness and beauty treatments. Engage in self-education, set yourself a real goal that you need to strive for. The easiest way to make a man bite his elbows is to become better and prove to him WHOM he lost.
- If self-esteem is still lame, you need to get out to visit, a restaurant, a theater or any other crowded place. Wear an elegant dress, make a stylish hairstyle and spectacular makeup. This will certainly make strangers pay attention to you. But this is not done in order to start an affair. The essence of such a trip is to make yourself feel desirable and beautiful again. And then confidence will return to you.
How to get rid of a love affair for a woman
Like it or not, the nature of man is such that men fight for the right to possess a woman. And this struggle is far from always successful. Men also sometimes have to cope with love addiction. How to forget a woman who seemed to be bewitching?
- To begin with, feel like a man. After all, you are not a crying girl who cannot cope with her emotions. You will be able to forget the one that did not appreciate you. Take a favorite hobby that will fill your free time and remove unnecessary thoughts.
- The best cure for any addiction is work. It's time to put your personal life in the background a bit and get involved in development and professional growth. Change your income level and social status - this will not only make your woman regret her decision, but will also help to make life decisions in the future.
- Sport is a great alternative to love relationships. Develop body strength and endurance. Yoga can also be a great solution. It brings thoughts into order, settles harmony in the soul.
- They say that they wedge a wedge.This does not mean that you should plunge into a new romantic relationship. But try to spend time with a pleasant person, to go on a harmless, non-binding date. Feel that flirting and falling in love can bring lightness, joy and pleasure, rather than feelings and fear.
Whether you are a man or woman, young or old, rich or poor, do not give up on yourself after an unsuccessful relationship. Of course, you can’t survive the separation painlessly, especially if the love affair was strong. But you need to try to raise your head, remain yourself and confront all the problems in life. And then fate will certainly give you mutual, pure and true love that will fill your life with meaning.
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7 years tormented by love addiction. I am 37 years old. Very tired. Help me please.