How to get rid of self-doubt

In the life of every person situations arise in which he feels insecure. He is constrained by fear, he seems to himself so insignificant and incompetent that he is absolutely not ready to cope with the task. Sometimes human insecurity manifests itself in different spheres of life. Someone feels confident in communication with the opposite sex, but in science he is a complete ignoramus. Another person feels like a fish in water among the formulas and equations, but when he meets a beautiful lady, he is speechless. How to overcome this insecurity in ourselves and what its nature is, we will try to figure it out.

What is self-doubt

And really, what is that feeling? Why are we shackled by fear and horror in public speaking? Why does a person underestimate the significance of his person?

Self-doubt is a feeling in which you all the time think that you will not succeed in one or another action, that all your attempts are doomed to failure, and perhaps they will start laughing at you. You do not believe in your strength, in your luck and success. In fact, it is very harmful and bad for the course of successful affairs. After all, self-confidence is half the success. When you do not believe in your strength, you do not try yourself in something new. You are afraid to get a new job, because there are new colleagues, the situation and (oh my god!) New bosses. You have trembling thoughts about such a change of scenery. You do not even think about the fact that a new place of work is a prospect, a more decent wage, and in general, a place of new work is closer to home. However, insecure people will prefer to stay in the old workplace, where everything is familiar and familiar, so as not to face such an insurmountable task - a change of scenery.

Insecurity forces a person to bury their talents. Perhaps he draws or sings well, but shyness, secrecy, and fear may interfere with showing his skill to the general public. Therefore, due to such fear, many talented people remain in the shadows. Do not let uncertainty brick you up!

Reasons for self-doubt

But why does a person become insecure and start to be afraid of everything? Is it really a character trait? Or is it an acquired feeling?

1. The main reason for self-doubt lies in children's settings. How much in the character of a child can be laid down in one simple phrase. Such simple words abandoned by parents as “you won’t succeed anyway”, “you don’t have the abilities in mathematics”, “you still don’t come running first”, “but will they take you to play in the play?” pre-program the child to fail. He understands that if even the closest relatives do not believe in him, then for sure he will not succeed. Children have not yet "but I will run the first to spite everyone." He believes the words that are told to him and believes that he is weak, stupid, and he has absolutely no talent. Many psychological problems, just like insecurity, come from childhood.
2. Bad experience can also cause insecurity in oneself and one's strengths. If a person was once laughed at the origins of his professional activity, if the fruits of his first job were not appreciated, this could be a collapse. A person ceases to believe in himself and in his own strength, he offers his services with dismay, agrees to work for a smaller fee, and sometimes leaves the profession. To avoid this, you need to strive to improve your skills and grind it daily. You need to be psychologically resistant to criticism.
3. Sometimes the cause of uncertainty in one's strengths can be an excessive glance at the opinions of others.You constantly think what others will say if I do this and not otherwise. Regular comparison of oneself with the ideal, an attempt for everyone to stay good leads to constant throwing and the impossibility of making the right decision. The right one for YOU, and not for someone else.
4. Uncertainty can manifest itself in a family that you have already created. It happens that a husband does not believe in his spouse, laughs at her desire to go to work or open a business. Or even over the desire to drive a car. The husband gives his wife the idea that a woman driving is dangerous, that women are causing accidents, etc. When the same idea scrolls through the head a huge number of times, it becomes a reality. The wife believes that she really better not to drive, not go to work and sit at home without sticking out his nose. It is overgrown with uncertainty, like a stump of moss in a damp ravine.
5. Also, uncertainty may arise due to a lack of success in some area of ​​human life. For example, a guy studies successfully, goes in for sports, he has a hobby, only he doesn’t get along with girls. If in his whole life he has not had a positive experience with the opposite sex, if no one has ever truly loved him, he feels tremendous insecurity in his abilities. Having met a girl, he is lost, does not know what to say, his confidence is melting before our eyes. This will pass after the first successful experience - when he realizes that he is also worth something and that he can also be sincerely loved.

How to get rid of self-doubt

Life flows and changes. It has ups and downs that must be overcome with dignity. If you lose heart from every trouble and from every failure, you can never climb to the top. As the hero says from one film - "Fall, but rise every time." Therefore, consider a few rules that will help you get rid of insecurity.

1. The words that your parents said to you in childhood cannot be returned. However, today you are an adult self-sufficient person, a mature personality. And you understand that everything that was told to you by mom and dad, grandparents may not be true. They can be wrong, like all adults. And the fact that they called you unsuccessful is just their subjective opinion. Try to pull yourself together and prove to everyone that everything will work out for you, in spite of their silly statements.
2. You can not lose heart because of failures. Think about how many successful people were denied work. The richest man Bill Gates in his youth sent his resume to dozens of firms and companies. However, no one offered him a job. And the famous Russian model Natalya Vodyanova received more than a hundred rejections from modeling agencies before she was noticed. Understand that luck is one in a hundred. This means that 99 times you will have to fall, rise and again go towards the wind and adversity. Do not lose confidence in yourself, in your abilities and in your talent, if you want to achieve something worthwhile. Even famous athletes admit that 80% of success depends on hard work and diligence. And only 20% of the victory depends on the physical data. As they say, patience and work will grind everything.
3. Look in the mirror. Think about what kind of person you are? Good or bad? Good or evil? Successful or unsuccessful? Believe me, what you think of yourself is what you are. Think about what you do well. Perhaps you swim the fastest or you get delicious pies. Or maybe you are the best dancer? Understand, you must find what you excel in. Feel the same confidence in other areas of your life.
4. In becoming a new way of thinking, try to understand that everything depends on you. There are no extraneous circumstances. There is only you, your choice and your decision. Your future is up to you.And if you don’t struggle with circumstances, if you go in cycles in every failure, then soak up in the swamp of anxieties, fears and insecurities. Appreciate, praise and love yourself regardless of the opinions of others.

How to build self-confidence

If you need emotional shake-up to become a more confident person, try several effective ways.

1. Shy girls must be confident in their beauty, femininity and charm. Go to the salon and change outwardly. Let it be a stylish haircut and fashionable make-up, elegant manicure and a beautiful dress. In this form, go to an event, a theater or a club. You must make sure that men like you, that they look at you, that you are interesting to them. This is the best way to become more confident.
2. Confident people themselves solve all their problems. Imagine that you are a businessman who does not call a friend, mom or wife so that they solve any issue. Do it yourself - be it paperwork, disputes with public utilities, problems at the institute or job loss. By the way, one of the signs of an insecure person is that he cannot look for a job. If you give him a job, he works without complaints, but finding a job on his own is problematic for him.
3. Improve your body. Sometimes the cause of self-doubt can be overweight or underweight, dull untidy hair, gray problem skin. Your appearance is a reflection of your attitude to the world. You can not treat him scornfully. You need to pull yourself together, eat right, lead a healthy lifestyle. A beautiful figure will give you confidence and will begin to catch your eye.
4. Change the course of your thoughts and begin to believe in the successful outcome of your plan. For example, you were invited to an interview. This is the work of your dreams that suits you completely. However, the lack of self-confidence gives rise to the thought in your head “this is a job for a high-class specialist, they probably will not trust me” and the like. Naturally, with such thinking you will never get a job. Going for an interview, you need to set yourself up for a positive outcome, imagine how you will work in a new place, how many creative ideas you implement and in general, they are lucky that they will have a professional like you work! Convince your interlocutor that you are exactly what they need.
5. To develop self-confidence, you need to simulate several situations. For example, ask a cashier in a store or a stranger on the street to exchange a large bill for you. A common thing, but for many timid people this is a disaster. Having developed self-confidence in such trifles, you can easily meet a girl or guy who is attractive to you.

Confidence in yourself and your strength comes with time. With every successful step, with every successful business. Believe in your capabilities, which will bring you worthy results of your efforts. Communicate with successful, self-confident people who show from their own experience that everything can be achieved simply, openly and easily. Live without fear and anxiety, you are the director of your life!

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