How to get rid of constant guilt

There is no person who does not make mistakes and you are no exception. Is it worth it to constantly think about what has already happened and remains in the past. A quarrel or unjustified expectations is part of life, the main thing is to try to avoid repetition. Mistakes are a good opportunity to improve. But to be guilty and to feel so is not the same thing. It happens that a person in vain ascribes guilt to himself.

What is guilt

This is, first of all, dissatisfaction with oneself and one’s deed, a subjective reaction to the violation of generally accepted values. According to psychologists, guilt is formed from several interweaving of emotional experiences, but first of all, these are “remorse”. Essentially, guilt is a fear of being punished.

Causes of Guilt

Remember how your parents called you to conscience when you didn’t do something? Vaccination of guilt, this is one of the tools for raising children, few people do without it. A kind of manipulation of a child so that he understands what is good and bad. For example, the son tore his jeans, jumping over the fence - which means that the family will have to save on something in order to buy new ones. Or, the daughter behaved badly in the lesson, now parents will have to justify themselves to the director and blush with shame. All this gradually accumulates throughout life and can cause unjustified self-incrimination. There is also an option when the baby is covered with guilt so that he is no longer scolded. After all, if he begins to worry, then the parents or teachers understand that the child realized his behavior.

There is an opposite type of education. For example, the baby is constantly praised for any reason and without it. When parents consider their child the most intelligent, beautiful, kind and so on. See him in the future as an excellent doctor, lawyer or singer. Then time passes, and the parents see that their son or daughter did not live up to expectations, it turns out that they had a completely ordinary child. Growing up, a person understands that he did not translate parental hopes into life, therefore, disappointment in himself gradually develops in him.

Society, religion, parents - throughout their lives establish the rules of a certain behavior. An adult who has committed a minor offense and has violated the prohibition may subsequently experience shame and guilt from the deed for a long time.

In addition, guilt is inherent in a certain type of personality. If a person is subject to fears, anxieties, insecurity - then, of course, blaming himself and everything is right there. It seems to him that if they didn’t look at him that way, rudely answered or ignored him, then he had no one else to blame. There are also individuals who never admit their mistakes, so it’s easier for them to blame the other person for everything. And here, suggestible and sensitive people will easily fall into such a trap.

What guilty feelings lead to

"Remorse" can lead to uncertainty, apathy and finally turn into a depressed state. In society, such a person will be mainly used for personal purposes, because it is so easy to manage. For example, if at work you need to do work for someone, then it will be difficult to refuse, because suddenly a disagreement to help offends a colleague. Therefore, instead of spending your day off, you sit in the office and carry out someone else's project. Or, you are ready to eat a tasteless dish, just not to upset the mother-in-law. But people who use your sacrifice rarely can truly appreciate it.

Feeling depressed insomnianeurosis anxiety, emptiness, depression - all this is an incomplete list of what a persistent guilt can turn into.

How guilt affects a person

In order not to suffer from a “voice” of conscience, a person punishes himself. A child who is instilled with a constant sense of shame, deliberately harms himself - strikes to bruises and fractures. So he shows his parents that he was punished for his wrongdoing.

Adults prescribe a program for reprisal on a psychological level. The settings in the head do not allow a person to be happy, because, in his opinion, he did not deserve it. They become stronger every year and prevent them from living a full life. Here are some of these programs:

• “Friends will always be more successful than me, because I am unlucky in life”;
• “My account is loneliness”;
• "No matter what I plan, nothing happens."

Do you know such statements and thoughts? All this is self-torture. A person simply does not allow himself to be happy and live in harmony with himself. And if something really good happens to him, he does not attach any importance to it. In his opinion, you should not even get used to it, all the same, soon everything will be bad.

For a person who constantly feels guilty, it is easier to yearn and wait for punishment. He is like a criminal who is handcuffed, and his thoughts are like a policeman. A person consciously drives himself into a cage and believes that he is not worthy of the best.

Maybe stop blaming yourself for everything? It is time to consider your life completely, throw off the shackles, stop thinking negatively and answer for the mistakes of others.

How to get rid of constant guilt

First, determine the source from which this feeling originated. Take a closer look at the people you communicate with. Perhaps your parents, husband or friends are imposing shame on you. Or your boss is manipulating you. If the feeling of shame is not imposed by oneself, but by the environment, then it is necessary to break all contacts with these people, thereby getting rid of psychological pressure. Of course, it is impossible to get away from family people, so you need to take your will into a fist and start the fight for your personality.

So, you have discovered a source of negative thoughts. Further, it is necessary to understand and understand whether there are reasons for such accusations. If your guilt does not really exist, and these are just empty accusations, relax. Remember, it is impossible to please everyone, everyone has his own vision and perception of the world. You should not blame yourself every time for the fact that your behavior provoked a negative reaction from another person. Remember, when you didn’t like something in a person, did this cause his guilt before you?

Take it easier - don't like it, go aside. Do not be afraid to quarrel with a man, just because you have not met his expectations, if you are dear to him, he will stay with you. After all, you do not immediately leave your loved one or friend, because of his mistakes. Put yourself in the place of another, and then you will understand that there is nothing wrong with your behavior. First of all, you need to evaluate yourself, and not chase the opinions of other people.

A person who blames others for everything is not able to recognize his own mistakes. No need to go on about such people. It is their problem that they cannot take themselves critically. In fact, subconsciously, they understand their guilt, but it’s easier for them to blame others than admit it. Just know that there are such people and do not take their accusations seriously.

If you still have something to be ashamed of, put your negative thoughts on a piece of paper. Carefully analyze the situation, write down everything in detail and tear the sheet or burn it. Let everything be left behind, return nothing anyway. Talking with loved ones or with whom you are ashamed will help to cope with the situation easier. Do not keep in yourself, talk about it, admit your guilt aloud.It may turn out that a person has forgiven you for a long time, now it's your turn to forget about it. And always draw conclusions about actions so that you don’t repeat your mistakes again.

If guilt does not recede, make it your ally, become more responsible. Climb the career ladder, envy your family, invite many guests to your house, always be in the company of people who love you and your shortcomings. Dress always beautifully, go out more, get an interesting hobby.

Each person was mistaken, it is impossible to live without it. Of course, this does not justify some acts committed by malicious intent. But if you did something bad, made a mistake - repent and apologize. And when you are accused of all mortal sins for no reason, tell yourself and others: “There are no ideal people,” smile and leave with your head held high.

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