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Attachment is painful for one partner, while the second feels comfortable. Psychologists call such relationships symbiosis - interpersonal contact in which people benefit from mutually beneficial. Also, the painful dependence of one partner on another can be called parasitism. This type of connection can often be observed in a dysfunctional couple, when a lady loves her companion, and he only accepts her warmth. Due to the high fear of being alone, the girl makes no attempt to leave and feels oppressed.
How to distinguish love from affection
Practical recommendations will help you understand that you are tied to a satellite.
- A girl dependent on a man (attached to him) constantly wants to be with her partner. She is tormented by obsessive thoughts about where and with whom he is.
- Eccentric natures are “driven” by the appearance of a man. They are fascinated only by his inflated torso, white-toothed smile, dimples on his cheeks, and not the spiritual component. This aspect characterizes affection, not love.
- It is easy to distinguish between two feelings, observing the general condition. If you notice that at first you begin to be interested in a man, and at the next moment you almost forget about him - this is attachment.
- Many girls in a relationship experience a constant lack of love and tenderness. If you really love, feelings literally begin to warm from the inside. Such couples can overcome everything.
- To understand that you are attached to a man, brief observations will help. If you give up hobbies, work and other stages of personal growth, feelings are not love. You plunged (attached) not to your own "I", but to the gentleman.
- Attachment is also characterized by a sharp decrease in the number of people with whom close contact was maintained yesterday. Often a girl cannot experience positive emotions in communicating with friends and colleagues, as she is completely passionate about her fiancée.
- As mentioned earlier, love helps to overcome all obstacles without developing depression. Attachment, in turn, causes overly negative emotions during separation. Many girls experience tremendous stress when a partner is not nearby for 2-3 hours.
- To distinguish affection from love will help a sober look at behavior in a quarrel. If you just want to swear, and not find a compromise, the relationship is doomed to failure. In balanced pairs, constructive dialogs are always built.
- If you and a young man do not sit in cozy evenings with a bottle of wine, discussing plans for the future, we can assume that there is no love. Strong ties mean constant discussions and desires, common dreams.
- Symbiotic attachment is characterized by complete dissatisfaction with one's own needs, and even the most basic ones. At this time, the needs of the vampire partner are fully realized.
Important!It should be noted that actions a la “I love you!”, Committed at the beginning of a relationship, are the norm. In this case, people still get used to each other, so attachment is not considered painful, dependent. The main difference is that the lover finds a place in his life for communication, while the attached partner replaces his own being with new relationships.
How to get rid of attachment to a person
Attachment adversely affects the human being. When a girl experiences violent feelings towards a man, she forgets about herself. This is where problems with personal growth (spiritual and material) begin, apathy and insecurity appear.
Method number 1. Find a hobby
- Hobbies - a powerful tool that allows you to find peace of mind in a short time. Go to nature, sit down and think about what you have been dreaming of for many years? Long wanted to go to the gym, but not enough money? Take the savings set aside for the next present to your partner, go in for sports.
- More than a year did not fly on vacation? Get together with friends, go for a week to Europe. Set goals, do not stop there. Start attending Spanish or English courses, the listed languages take the leading positions in speaking and writing in the world.
- A great option for distraction and full concentration on yourself is the choice of an active hobby. This includes absolutely everything: snowboarding, skiing, skating, biking, go-karting, rock climbing, swimming. If you consider yourself to be brave, jump with a parachute or a rope.
- Live for your pleasure, take care of your own well-being, learn to invest in the future. Sign up for popular courses, this can be manicure and pedicure, cutting and sewing, photography courses and wood carving.
- At this stage, your main task is to think about yourself and fill the day to the maximum. If you get very tired, thoughts about a man will begin to fade into the background.
- Gather with friends more often, visit cinemas, bowling, water park. Take the habit of regularly going out for a walk, go out to town for barbecue, and attend excursions.
- As mentioned earlier, a sense of attachment is determined by a fear of being alone. A girl directs all love, tenderness and care to a man, forgetting about her own needs. To avoid a deplorable outcome of events, get a pet.
- The choice depends on individual preferences. The dog takes time, care and patience. A cat can be at home alone, she also needs affection and constant care. Speaking of parrots, they are funny, talkative and unpretentious.
- The new companion will save you from loneliness, especially at first, which is what you need to achieve. It is important to direct feelings to those who need it. In this case, you will not lose yourself, gaining peace of mind.
Method number 3. Travel more
- Ask your superiors for a vacation. Spend it not with a young man, but with friends or colleagues. You can also go abroad in splendid isolation.
- Consider beach resorts if you have not bathed in the sea for a long time. Lovers of attractions and small streets are advised to purchase sightseeing tours.
- No need to invest all the money on vacation, just select a burning ticket on the Internet, pack your suitcase 3 hours before departure and hit the road.
- Many girls do not have a passport. In this case, go on a mini-tour of the cities of your country. Visit distant relatives, visit your friends in a neighboring city.
- Take a camera, take many pictures, upon arrival print them and decorate the walls. At this stage, the main task is to search for new impressions and inspiration.
Method number 4. Analyze thoughts
- Engage in meditation. Take a hot bath on the herbs, turn on soft music, close your eyes and relax. Think specifically what you want to get from a partner? Many people cannot interpret their own thoughts, which is considered a serious omission.
- If you are in harmony with the mind, the answer is not long in coming. A girl tied to a man fills a spiritual void with her current relationship. She is looking for any means of dependence, sending herself to the shackles voluntarily.
- Such an attitude towards a man does not characterize love. Try filling in the blanks with the other available methods described above. Fight apathy, do not follow the path of uncertainty and boredom.
- Many girls want to part with a man, but cannot do this.In such situations, addiction requires the intervention of a qualified professional.
Method number 5. Take care of yourself
- It's time to do your own appearance. Go to the mirror, appreciate the figure, hairstyle, makeup, smile and posture. Does everything suit you? Maybe the lack of proper hair and nail care is not to your liking? Or do not like the condition of the skin, extra folds at the waist? It's time to fix the situation!
- Sign up for a gym or a sports school. Consider interesting sections (again, as a hobby). Effective areas are Latin American dances, breathing exercises, stretching, martial arts, a pool, yoga.
- Revise your wardrobe. Send to the trash or give friends those things that do not sit well. Get rid of old shoes, bags, cosmetics. Pick up a beautiful outfit, sexy lingerie, high heel shoes. Such minor purchases will inspire you and make you feel like a woman.
- Pay attention to the perfume that you use. It should not be repulsive and harsh. Give preference to light, hardly perceptible aromas. Tidy your hair, dye your hair, change the image.
- It is important to understand that investing in your appearance will remind you of the old days when you lived only by yourself. It is always worth having a bit of egoism so as not to infringe on one's own interests. Spend time usefully, arrange shopping every month.
It is difficult enough to get rid of attachment to a person if it is caused by a number of psychological aspects. To begin, analyze your own thoughts, learn to say goodbye to people. Invest in your spiritual component, watch your appearance. Develop financially, get a pet, travel more.
Video: how to overcome your attachment to another person
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