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Any person has to worry in particularly difficult situations associated with communication. Increased anxiety when passing the exam, talking with the boss or interview, in most cases this is a normal reaction to stress. However, there are people for whom any more or less responsible contact is associated with incredible emotions, fears and negative physical reactions of the body. How to defeat a cowardly hare in yourself and become stronger and more confident?
What is social phobia
The roots of the word are “socio” (society) and “phobos” (fear). Fear of people, communication, manifestations of themselves in the presence of others are unpleasant features of sociophobia. As in most psychological deviations, a person is overcome by irrational fears that have no reason. He becomes a hostage to negative emotions in any contact with people. An inferior existence, due to the inability to solve problems and make the right decisions, drives into an even greater abyss of nervous disorders that can cause chronic depression.
Scientists often characterize sociophobia as a disease of missed opportunities, since attempts to close and escape from the outside world can lead to more complex psychological disorders. Try to admit to yourself that you suffer from this ailment, it undermines your strength and health. Having looked the truth in the eye, you will push yourself to fight the disease on your own while it is in your power.
Who is most susceptible to sociophobia
The main cause of sociophobia is the low self-esteem of a person, because of which his self-doubt is so great that any need to prove himself in public leads to a wild surge of adrenaline. Here, both the genetic factor and the improper parenting can play a role.
The genes are to blame
You can’t argue with genetics, even traits of character are inherited, but much can be done in the human powers. If you do not want your life to turn into hell, and any trip to the store or to work seems like a feat, take care of your own state of mind. The physiological ailments transmitted by inheritance remain with them for life, but a person is able to work on his consciousness as a rational being.
Parents do not choose
Most psychological disorders, including sociophobia, are rooted in early childhood. In fact, it is at an early age that a human personality is formed, even before acquiring key knowledge about the nature of the world. Teachers define two extremes of improper, harmful education: excessive guardianship and increased severity.
In the first case, when the child is not given a step to take on their own, he turns into a spiritual disabled person who is unable to make the simplest decision without the support or prompting of his elders. Sometimes mothers are engaged in offering food, driving a pen and caring for their child until the child's youthful age. Once in adult society, such a person looks around, but there is no staff, no railing, no pointer. Complete confusion turns into a desire to hide in a corner and not try to get out of there.
Even more terrifying consequences are the upbringing in strict mode. Some parents believe that if you constantly poke a son or daughter with their imperfection, never praise or say good words, they will bring up a worthy and strong personality.There it was, a man who had to prove all his life that he was worthy of his father or mother, that he was able to be the best, he would never become the best. He will simply stop believing in himself, will look into everyone’s eyes in anticipation of encouragement, and will break and torment his whole life for his own apparent imperfection.
What is noteworthy, people suffering from social phobia can become great and the first in any field, another thing, at what cost is given to them.
Symptoms of Sociophobia
Like all mental illnesses, sociophobia has its own characteristic signs and symptoms that make it possible to distinguish it from ordinary constraint or isolation. Introverts feel quite calm, both in society and without it, they just prefer lonely thoughts to arguments out loud.
Suspicion of sociophobia occurs with the following human reactions:
- feeling of inferiority;
- fear of speaking in public;
- panic in public places with a large crowd of people;
- fear of strangers;
- shyness to the point of absurdity;
- terrible insult to any criticisms;
- desire to limit the space of existence.
The reasons lie in the uncertainty and constant expectation of praise from others. Only a good-natured attitude towards such people can melt the ice of their doubts and fears. Worse, when any assessment is not perceived adequately. If sociophobe feels hypocrisy in any opinion of friends or colleagues, then the disease has gone far, it will be more difficult to control it. The mood of such a person spoils from the slightest remark, rude words or inept jokes. His existence is "crystal", he suffers from the slightest touch.
It is well known that psychological disorders are terrible for their impact on the physical condition of the human body. You can specify the following external signs of bouts of fear or panic:
- cardiopalmus;
- dyspnea;
- tremor;
- headaches;
- fever and redness of the face;
- chills and pallor;
- excessive sweating.
What is dangerous social phobia
The constant state of fear, anxiety and inferiority can lead to panic attacks in which a person ceases to control himself. He may be afraid to leave his house, get into a crowded transport, the fear of society develops into a fear of a closed (claustrophobia) or open (agarophobia) space.
It is necessary to establish an accurate diagnosis as soon as possible in order to undergo proper treatment in time, otherwise, escaping from problems, a social phobia may resort to alcohol or drugs. In this case, the person’s inability to adapt to reality is even more aggravated and labor activity decreases.
The worst result can be chronic depression and suicide. Psychiatrists and specialized clinics cannot do without such an outcome.
How to get rid of social phobia on your own
At the stage of awareness of his problem, with skillful actions, a person is able to overcome this difficult ailment. It is important to understand that thoughts guide our actions, and we are empowered to control judgments in our heads.
See the good in everything
Contrast the usual negativity with its flip side, replace your opinions as follows:
- Nobody loves me. “I am worthy of love and complicity.”
- I am causing pity for others. - People treat me well.
- I am an insignificant person. “It's interesting to spend time with me.”
- I look ugly. - I have my own tastes and outlook on life.
A lot of positive pronounced not only mentally, but aloud for yourself, then negative emotions will be driven into the far corner of your consciousness. Gradually, you will believe in yourself and feel the charm of life and the harmony of human communication.
Educate a speaker in yourself
Remember how at school you were afraid to go to the blackboard and recite a poem.Start small, try talking with your own reflection in the mirror. Imagine that your listener is there and try to convince him of something. Work with facial expressions, fantasize and convey your emotions in the most unpredictable way.
Reading out loud and talking with a loved one, trying to share your impressions of a day with him will help stir up your frozen contact. Greet friends and strangers, smile more often at people, the warmth of your soul will return to you. Develop the habit of voicing your opinions, then a long silence will break through an unprecedented eloquence.
Control fears and show determination
You can avoid the symptoms of fear, manifested in trembling and dizziness, if you focus on deep breathing. Do not think about anything at this moment, control inhalations and exhalations, count them, then the body with the help of additional oxygen will calm down and return to normal.
Make a list of the most painful behavioral situations for you in society and gradually try to implement these actions. Let it not be a process of one day or even a week, it is important to overcome every "horror story". At first it will be very difficult, but over time you will begin to enjoy the perfect. Everyone has their own cockroaches in their heads, but the attempts can be something like this:
- call an electrician;
- go yourself to a distant store;
- take the floor on the RAM;
- call back to the customer with specification of the list of works;
- enroll in a circle or sports section;
- say hello to your neighbors.
Over time, you will throw parties for friends at home, it is important to believe in yourself.
Love yourself
Protect yourself from hysterical people, evil colleagues and a worried boss, but not by hiding in the corner, but by creating a strong psychological barrier to unwanted stress. To do this, learn to ignore the opinion of a person who does not respect you. Everyone tends to make mistakes, and you, too, do not have ideal people. And those who constantly blame others for inferiority or inconsistency only with their guided norms themselves deserve sympathy.
A person who appreciates his life should be a little proud, you must not allow outsiders to oppress you morally. Love yourself and value your health, and let the spiteful critics look for realization elsewhere.
To be easier
There is perhaps the simplest and at the same time complex rule for a person who is free from complexes. It is easy to go through life and perceive everything as an interesting fairy tale with a happy ending. You have been given existence and consciousness for such a short moment, only several tens of years long, that it would be very disappointing to spend this precious time on spiritual throwings.
Imagine yourself as a character that you think is cheerful and carefree, try to be in your reality, try to feel lightness and freedom from what you breathe and exist.
Lead a healthy lifestyle
Human psychology and physiology are closely interconnected. As the legs can suffer from a bad head, so the psyche can be shaken, leading a disorderly lifestyle. People, especially prone to worries and anxieties, must categorically rid themselves of the excessive use of alcohol, nicotine and caffeine, as substances that stimulate the strengthening of positive and negative emotions.
Medical assistance
If you still could not independently cope with the manifestations of social phobia and went to the doctor, remember that effective treatment can be a great start on the path to healing your psyche. Sometimes just a few conversations with a psychologist are enough to find your rightful place in society. In some cases, the attention of a psychotherapist or psychiatrist will be needed.
Medical care includes the use of special drugs, among which are:
- mild antidepressants;
- blockers;
- serious medications that suppress the psyche.
Cognitive-behavioral therapy is considered to be a productive direction, including working directly with your anxious thoughts, developing communication skills, combating isolation and exclusion.
Remember the main thing, social phobia is not an incurable disease. She is just an unpleasant obstacle preventing you from being a full-fledged person. Love yourself, be able to admit your own problems, look into the eyes of fear and do not look away. You have been given reason to conquer any adversity.
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If all of the above helped ... doesn't work at all
Vacation helped me for a while. I switched to construction work. Stopped flashing alarm from a phone call. But over time, fatigue began to take its toll again: phone calls, any negative criticism, risk-taking tasks were stupid. I wanted to work with a psychotherapist, but I don’t know anyone, and whoever is not willing to go. I'll try it on my own first. By the way, at the last work the team was so favorable and attentive to people that there could not even be memories of anxieties. And one more thing, sometimes I can buy a lot of sweets and treat relatives in the team. After that I feel VERY good. Perhaps because I see smiles and feel my need for a team. Sociophobia is inherently a fear of rejection by society. Therefore, treating society and hearing thanks is a good workout. If they treat me, I accept, I try not to deny the person the opportunity to be good. One more thing, when I write some positive supportive commentary, I feel useful. I feel good then.