How to start a new life after a divorce: 8 steps

The sadness of separation and separation is an integral part of divorce. Yesterday you had fun, solved pressing problems together, were part of a whole. Today, marriage has turned into a broken crystal vase, which can no longer be collected from the fragments. Each new day brings despair and sadness, and lingering depression develops. It is important to get out of the state of stupor in time in order to start life from scratch.

The most difficult aspect that needs to be overcome after a divorce is considered to be loneliness. The new life is significantly different from the previous one, you no longer have anyone to count on, as a result of which problems are covered with your head.

As practice shows, the most difficult days are holidays. At such moments, the feeling of loneliness is doubly enhanced, because until recently you experienced all the joyful events with your partner.

Step number 1. Break the link

At this stage, you need to think about yourself. You must not allow a past life to influence events in the present. Limit communication with your ex-husband within 6-12 months after the divorce, if possible completely break the connection. No need to once again hear the painfully native voice, to be interested in matters, as before.

The best solutions for you is a complete lack of communication. Make it clear that you don’t need further communication. If you’ve settled on calling on the phone, talk exclusively about business. If the interlocutor tries to change the conversation in a different direction, refer to an emergency meeting.

Temporarily reduce communication with the company of mutual friends who constantly talk about their ex-spouse. "Your Petya drove off to the seas" or "Seryoga found a new girlfriend with a third size." You do not need to hear all these facts, they are completely useless. No need to reopen old wounds, put “virtues” in ignore. You will not be able to calmly listen to how the ex-partner begins a new life after a divorce.

Step number 2. Do not throw tantrums

Many people make a mistake when they call their passions in a drunken state and begin to make unfounded claims. It is important to remember forever, a divorce has already occurred, reproaches have been expressed, no need to return to the past, no matter how much you would like to. You will make yourself worse, remember past grievances and relive past disagreements. Also, do not call the partner, silently into the phone, wanting to hear his voice.

Step number 3. Do not analyze what happened

If you have difficulty controlling emotions, let them out. Turn on the shower, scream and cry. Beat the pillow, bite it. Jump to loud music, do not close. Talk to yourself, nostalgic for the old days. Once you have mastered feelings, leave them in the past. Wash, exhale, set yourself up for a new and happy life.

Do not accumulate negativity in yourself, it is better to survive the incident 1 time than to suffer every day. Look for the pros in everything that happens. Global changes bring with them something bright, difficulties will soon recede.Focus on the main thing: take care of the children, build a career, devote a lot of time to yourself.

Now there is no need to get up at 6 in the morning to collect the missus to work. There will no longer be the obligatory fulfillment of "conjugal duty." From now on, everything depends on you: get comfortable on the couch, watch your favorite movies, read books. Live for yourself.

No need to delve into yourself and analyze words, actions, deeds. Live in the present, divorce has already happened Tune in to a positive wave, let go of the past with each new day.

Step number 4. Change the environment

Comprehend what is happening and take a breath. If possible, change the situation, go for permanent residence in another city. The advice is extremely relevant in cases where two people live in a small village, where you have to see each other's faces every day. In no case do not try to catch the eyes of a former lover.

In cases where there is no possibility of changing the city, create a cozy bachelor nest. Make repairs in the apartment, rearrange the furniture, hang vivid paintings and curtains.

Step number 5. Travel

For a while, forget that you recently went through a divorce. Think about yourself, what would you like at the moment? An excellent option is a tour ticket abroad or a tour of a ski resort. At the same time, you should not choose such places of rest in which you will engage in self-flagellation, looking at cute couples by the pool.

It is important to score every day of the tour to the eyeballs so that there is no free time for reflection. Scuba dive, swim with dolphins, book a beautiful photo shoot on the Cote d'Azur or the small streets of Europe.

Try to exhaust yourself physically; when you get home, you should fall off your feet and not think about divorce. Explore cultural monuments and world attractions for days on end, then in a state of exhaustion go to a room or a cozy cafe around the corner. Feel like a real tourist!

Important!
For the duration of a tourist trip, refuse electronic communication methods. Turn off the phone, do not view mail, do not go to social networks. Enjoy peace and tranquility, relax. Turn on fun music, completely give up tearful songs.

Step number 6. Get rid of material memories

Collect the things of your former partner in a box, hand them out to friends, burn them or throw them in the trash. In cases where the divorce was painful, you cannot leave memorable gifts, such as a gold pendant with an engraving, beautiful shells with a cute inscription “I love you!” etc. Yes, it's a pity to part with such things, but in the future you will be happy to make such a move.

Truly valuable things (relics) are better to carefully pack and put in a distant box so that they do not catch your eye. Give the gold donated by the former gentleman to a jewelry store or pawnshop. You can exchange them for new products or take money.

Do not watch movies that you once watched together. Refuse from going to the cinema or restaurant where the partner has invited you before. Free your subconscious, don’t let your mind whisper “Remember how good we were here.” Wait out this storm and brighter moments await you.

Step number 7. Watch yourself

Often you can hear the saying that the girl after the divorce only becomes prettier. Take this context into account. Take care of yourself, go for manicure, pedicure, give a new shape to the eyebrows. Change the image dramatically, change the hairstyle, dye your hair. Follow the wardrobe, filter out everything that sits imperfectly. Buy a perfume that will suit you perfectly.

Turn life upside down: change jobs, find a fascinating hobby that will take up all your free time.You might even want to do a facelift or lip augmentation, see the budget. Do something that could not be decided in marriage, do not deny yourself anything.

Step number 8. Chat with the opposite sex

Laugh, have fun, accept the invitation to the cinema or theater, fill the spiritual void with positive emotions. If you meet a truly worthy man along the way, why not give it a try? Love comes when it is not expected. Take risks, do not put everyone under one comb.

Of course, the ladies embittered by all men will find this recommendation strange, and this is not surprising. It is possible that you are not yet ready for an innocent flirtation or the manifestation of serious intentions on the part of the gentlemen. Work on your own mind, do not cross out your life due to a failed marriage.

What should not be done

1. Appreciate yourself, do not try to return your spouse by humiliating your own "I". Do not blame yourself for all mortal sins, let go of the past.
2. Do not overshadow the mind with alcohol, do not indulge "in all serious ways", having sex with every handsome man. Wait for time, take courtship, but do not rush to jump into bed.
3. Learn to appreciate loneliness. Spend time alone with yourself, think positively, tune in for the future. Turn on incendiary music, do regular cleaning and exercise.
4. If you are a sentimental young lady, try changing your usual behavior. You do not need to cry constantly, look fear in the eye: what bothers you? When you find the answer to this question, eliminate the problem completely.

To start a new life after a divorce, you need to root the image of a free lady in your head. Do not be afraid of changes, all the best happens unexpectedly. Rehabilitation should begin with an inner spirit, otherwise all efforts will be in vain.

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