How to learn to control your anger and aggression

Every year the society becomes more and more aggressive. People do not want to give in to each other, they are annoyed by any trifle, they are rude, rude and only hear themselves. They are used to living according to a certain plan, and if something went wrong, they immediately lose their temper. Why is this happening, and can it be changed. After all, anger towards loved ones or colleagues at work can forever ruin the relationship.

According to psychological surveys, most Russians believe that anger is a character trait and a person needs to be re-educated. But they are very mistaken. Therefore, until now, many people are tearing anger at each other and do not know what to do about it.

What is anger

Contrary to popular belief, anger is not a personality trait, but an emotion that is inherent in every person. There are a number of factors that provoke its appearance. The truth is that some can control it, while others cannot. But why does the body need negative emotions that only harm. This is another misconception about anger.

A feeling of aggression occurs when the body protects itself from external negative influences. Without anger, the human nervous system could not withstand such an influx of irritating factors that occur every day. And the more of them, the more aggressive the person seems.

Remember the case when you were angry, and what happened to your body at that moment. In a person, the pulse quickens in anger, the body temperature rises, sweat is secreted, and reason is lost. So the body does not allow negative emotions to reach the brain and cause stress.

But if anger is so helpful, then why control it. In addition to protecting our body, in large quantities, aggression becomes dangerous both for the person himself and for the people around him.

Causes of Anger

Any situation that a person cannot control can become a source of anger. But such cases often occur, why anger does not always manifest itself. The thing is that in addition to this, a number of certain factors are also needed that provoke weakening of the nervous system.

Angry causes include:

1. A person is affected by a disease that reduces the general tone of the body and affects the immune system;
2. If a child in childhood did not receive enough heat and care from his parents to grow up being kind and open, then at an older age he will experience outbreaks of anger;
3. Psychological trauma or severe disappointments that have occurred in the past also affect the frequency of aggressive outbursts;
4. If a person from childhood got used to the aggression of those around him, it is difficult to imagine his calm and measured future. Therefore, never let “let off steam” with children.

As you can see, the cause of anger often lies much deeper than we imagine. Therefore, the advice of an experienced psychologist is sometimes not enough. If a person notices after himself or someone close to you attacks of aggression that cannot be taken under control, do not delay the trip to the specialist.

Why anger is dangerous

Despite the fact that anger is a protective function of the nervous system for misunderstanding and resentment, it can bring sad consequences. According to statistics, in a fit of aggression, most accidents, fights, family conflicts, and murders happen. Many cases could have been avoided if we could get the better of emotions.

What anger leads to:

1. Physical exhaustion.Scientists have found that chronic exposure to bursts of anger leads to diseases of the cardiovascular and immune systems, diabetes mellitus, hypertension, mental disorders, and depression. No wonder there is a saying that all diseases are from nerves.
2. Career destruction. Aggressive behavior towards colleagues will cause not only constant discontent among superiors, but also dismissal. Today, prestigious firms and companies in employees primarily value stress resistance and the ability to get out of conflict situations.
3. The loss of family and friends. If outbreaks of anger are often observed behind a person, even the closest people can not stand it. First of all, trust disappears, and then respect for people who are not able to control themselves.

It is difficult to fight aggressive behavior, because a person may not be aware of the severity of the situation. In this case, you must openly talk to him about the problem and convince that the help of a specialist is necessary.

Myths about Anger

Anger can be controlled, but you need to learn a few truths. This knowledge will help you quickly reach your cherished goal and regain peace in the family, at work and in life.

Myths about anger:

1. Anger must be released; you cannot keep it in yourself. In part, this statement is true, but it is necessary to get rid of anger correctly so that it does not have an impact on others. Below you will read some tips on how to do this.
2. Anger can earn respect. Many are sure that if they are afraid, they will achieve much in life. But this is not the case. He will deserve much more if he respects others, and not be used as a pear for whipping.
3. Controlling anger is not possible. This can and should be learned. It depends only on a person whether he can overcome his anger or not.
4. To control anger is to suppress it. In fact, these are completely different things. In the control of emotions, it is important to direct them in the right direction, without hitting anyone and not offending. Suppression will lead to the same consequences as the lack of control.

In most cases, it is sufficient to carry out standard psychotherapy, including exercises that the psychologist will advise. But therapeutic therapy or hypnosis is applied to particularly emotional individuals.

How to learn to control anger

Psychologists recommend working in two directions: to control the brain activity leading to outbreaks of anger, as well as its physical manifestations. Thus, you can achieve great results and become a completely different person.

Emotional control:

1. Before releasing anger, you need to imagine the situation from the side. This will help to avoid rash actions.
2. Next, find the reason that caused the attack of anger. How important is it and is it worth it to spend your nerve cells on it?
3. If the cause was an unforeseen situation, you need to find a way out and get rid of the problem.
4. If the reason is the behavior of another person, do not rush at him with accusations, you should listen to the arguments and argue your position in a calm tone. Sometimes you can solve the situation with a witty joke.
5. The visualization technique based on childhood memories helps a lot. It is necessary to mentally be in the place where a sense of security was felt.
6. Another technique is the "diary of anger." In the notebook you need to write down every attack of aggression that has taken place, as well as describe in detail the causes and emotions. It is useful to periodically re-read and analyze it.
7. Having understood what situations most often cause anger, you need to learn how to avoid them. Conflict is better to prevent than to correct consequences.

Physical Control:

1. Feeling a surge of anger, you need to take 10 deep breaths. Next, you need to perform simple physical exercises, so the brain will be distracted from the problem, and the situation will cease to be critical.
2. If you can change the situation (go outside, go to another room), you need to use it.
3. If there is no way out, then it is better to concentrate on your body parts (legs, arms), alternately straining and relaxing them.
4. Being alone, you can remove anger on an inanimate object (tear paper, break a cup).
5. A hobby for knitting, embroidery and other hobbies that develop fine motor skills will help control outbursts of anger.

Anger can and must be controlled, for this it is enough to have a desire. Today, psychologists have studied this problem quite well and are ready to provide comprehensive answers to any questions. If there is no opportunity to visit a specialist, it is recommended that you choose the right tips and follow them yourself.