How to learn to restrain yourself and not scream at the child

A rare mother can boast of iron calm. Only in the series can you see ideal families, beautiful and successful parents. In fact, each of us broke into a child several times in our lives. It’s just not customary to discuss it with friends and relatives.

Do not be shy about your negative qualities, the longer we hide the problem, the more difficult it is to solve. If you feel that you have crossed the limits of the rational and cannot control emotions, the best way will be to share with someone from your loved ones.

What a scream comes from

Every mother wants to raise an ideal child whom she will be proud of in old age. But desires do not always come true. Often a child behaves capriciously, does not obey his elders, deceives or acts contrary to parental orders. How in such a situation does not break and do not yell at the baby.

But in most cases, the son or daughter is not to blame - they are children, they are motivated by interest, and sometimes greed and self-interest. In this case, it will be more correct to explain that doing so is ugly and wrong, then it will turn out badly.

But fatigue, stress and irritability make moms and dads just scare the child with a cry, so that he soon calms down. Of course, this is easier, but soon you will reap the benefits of your upbringing.

What are the main reasons that make parents raise their voices. Here are the most common cases:

1. Fatigue after a hard day or household chores. This is especially pronounced in the evening, when there is no desire but to rest;
2. Colds, fatigue, other diseases. These causes cause malfunctions in the nervous system, it becomes impossible to control yourself;
3. State of stress. If you recently experienced a great loss, you had unforeseen sad circumstances, then disobedience of children can overflow the patience at the wrong time;
4. Removal of your negative emotions received at work, in a store, on the street or in transport. Very often we break down at the most dear and close people, and then we regret it;
5. You as a child were also raised with a cry. Of course, you did not like this behavior of your parents, but it is already embedded in the personality.

Some of these factors are temporary and after the black streak in life passes, you calm down and stop yelling at the children. But what to do with deeper psychological reasons. We have to spend a lot of time and effort on their elimination. Therefore, before raising your voice to a small child, think about what this will lead to in the future.

How does a child perceive a scream

Imagine that a person who is twice as tall as looking at you is looking at you, while he begins to scream frantically and call you offensive words. What feelings arise at this moment. A desire to correct a mistake and continue to behave better? Of course not. You feel terrible fear and begin to defend yourself, say any words, only to make this "giant" shut up.

Now imagine yourself as a child whose psyche has not yet gained strength, the nervous system is not formed, and he does not know how to protect himself. The fright that the baby experiences at the time of the cry remains forever in his subconscious. The only thing he can do is cry from resentment and fear.

With such tactics, you will never achieve a worthy upbringing of the future generation, but spoil your child’s childhood.

What are the consequences of shouting at a child:

• you will lose your authority as a parent, there will be no due respect;
• you can damage the psyche of the child, make him closed and indecisive;
• you lower the self-esteem of the baby, he will never achieve what he wants;
• you will provoke the child to other bad deeds;
• in the future, the baby will continue your tactics of education and pass it on to his children, and those to grandchildren and so on.

The most important thing to understand is the absolute futility of screams and threats. They do not give you any result other than dissatisfaction with incontinence and feelings of guilt towards the child. Did he end up messing around, taking prohibited items or making faces. No, but stopped trusting, and you feel it. Therefore, the time has come for action.

How to calm down quickly - tips

If you have a desire to shout at a child, then drive him away. Until you learn to control yourself, the baby’s behavior will not change. Therefore, once again, before approaching the baby, do one of the following actions to enter a state of rest and soberly assess the situation.

Ways to quickly calm down:

1. Go to another room where there is no one. And “take out” your discontent on any subject: a pillow, newspaper, utensils. So the negative will not be directed at a loved one, but at an inanimate object that cannot be offended or frightened.
2. Imagine that someone is nearby. You do not allow shouting at a child in a public place or at a party. This technique will moderate your ardor and bring your mind to consciousness.
3. Look at yourself from the outside, as a stranger. How do you react to the situation seen. Of course, begin to reproach a negligent mother for inappropriate education.
4. Forget that you scream at your child. Try to ignore and imagine that this is a strange baby. You will start yelling at him in such a situation. Probably not.
5. Remember how offended you were when mom or dad shouted at you. How much anger and fear you experienced at that moment. Your child is no different and thinks the same bad thoughts about you.
6. Arrange with the child that every time you raise his voice at him, he will talk about it. Come up with a special word or gesture. And do not forget to praise the baby that he stopped on time. Such an agreement will help the child to feel its significance, give confidence and become closer to you.

These tips may seem silly, but they always work. Therefore, do not put off your decision in the long box and start transforming right now.

Learning to live without a scream

There is still a lot of work to do before you learn to control emotions and not tear anger on a loved one. To eradicate this bad habit, you will have to not only change externally, but also change and fix something inside yourself.

Take time to relax
Constant fatigue and the monotony of family life interfere with controlling emotions, so young mothers often experience breakdowns. Since the child is mainly nearby, the negative is directed at him.

The output will be the help of loved ones. Separate your household chores with your husband, ask your parents to pick up the child for the weekend. Spend time on yourself. Go to the beauty salon, watch a movie that you didn’t have enough strength to meet with friends, do what you love, or just go for a walk. Start organizing your “weekend” several times a month and you will notice how easy it becomes to communicate with your loved ones.

Speak with baby
How often do you tell your baby that you love him. It is very important for young children to know that their parents need them, that, despite disobedience, no one is going to leave them. Therefore, do not skimp on gentle words, and your child will become obedient and meek.

Accept yourself for who you are
As mentioned earlier, we copy the parenting model from our parents, and in most cases we don’t even suspect it. Take it for granted and move on. Such an attitude will help not to repeat their mistakes and avoid pressure in the family.

Every child deserves to be loved. Make your baby’s childhood happy and carefree. Show him an example of calm and poise, then he will be able to achieve the heights of which he dreams, and he will not be disturbed by children's insults and fears.

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