How to learn to look people in the eye: advice from psychologists

Today, psychology has an equal place with the rest of the sciences, but this has not always been the case. Previously, it was considered useless. Only recently we began to understand how studying behavior and relationships can help people gain self-confidence, overcome fears, gain respect and authority.

Psychology claims that in a conversation with an interlocutor, it’s more important not what you say, but how you do it. The main criterion is the look. Nothing could be more honest than an open and calm gaze.

How to look in the eyes

If you know how to look in the eyes correctly, then you will achieve a lot in life. After all, a look can not only gain confidence, but also control the behavior of people. Therefore, many leaders today successfully master this technique of managing subordinates.

How to look in the eyes so that you are not mistaken for an ill-mannered person looking at the appearance of the interlocutor. A few tips from psychologists will help you not to get into an awkward situation:

• Do not look constantly. Enough 2/3 of the conversation to direct a look at the eyes of the interlocutor.
• No need to do a fixed, boring look. Do not show your arrogance.
• Make your eyes soft and kind, so you will have someone to talk to.
• Do not stare, squint, or squint your eyes.
• Listen to the person you are talking to. Do not focus only on the look.
• Do not forget to sincerely smile when appropriate.
• If you are a self-doubt person, then the look will give it away. Start believing in yourself and you will succeed.

The ability to correctly look at the person you are talking to and to have a conversation will help you quickly move up the career ladder, gain the trust and love of others.

If you look in the eyes scary

Often our complexes and fears prevent us from establishing contact with people. Even if we want to communicate, we still don’t know how to do it. In this case, it’s not just raising a topic of conversation, but just scaring people in the eye is scary.

What are we afraid of? That they refuse to communicate with us, show their contempt or disinterest in the person. All these fears are nothing more than far-fetched. And they will pass, if you do your self-esteem.

To learn not to be afraid to look people in the eye, there are several tricks:

1. Train your gaze. Start doing this in front of the mirror, and after a while, move on to others. The bottom line is not to take your eyes off the person for as long as possible. Later this will become a habit, and you yourself will not notice that you are looking openly into the eyes of the person you are talking to.
2. Become a spectator. If you think that only you are inherent to feel fear during communication, then you are mistaken. Surely there are similarly insecure people in the environment. Take a closer look, find them and watch how they try to please you.
3. Remember when you were on top, were able to achieve something and were proud of yourself. Fix this moment with some simple gesture, for example, crossing your fingers. Train your brain so that each time performing this movement, it brings the mind to the right state.
4. During the conversation, imagine that you put your hand on a person’s shoulder. This will help to relax and feel confident.
5. Chat more. In psychology, the problem is solved by aggravating it. The person is lowered into an uncomfortable environment, where the internal reserve of forces is activated. The more you communicate, the faster you will find out that you are an interesting person.

If a person has a conversation with you, then you are impressed with him. Do not forget about it. And your insecure glance can only push away. Therefore, you need to increase self-esteem in your own interests or you will not achieve heights.

Learning to watch and talk

It is very difficult to do these two things at the same time. You focus on one, while losing control of the other. Correct the situation will only help experience. But psychologists also have practical advice on this case.

What will help to learn to look in the eyes:

1. Communicating with the interlocutor, take all his words to heart. So you unwittingly look at him, which will be full of sincerity and understanding.
2. Pay attention to the interlocutor’s gestures and the expression on his face, they can clarify those moments that you did not understand in the conversation.
3. Only say what you feel. So you will not get confused in your own words.
4. If you have an important conversation, then make a plan in advance that you will adhere to. Rehearsal in front of the mirror will not be superfluous.

The ability to look people in the eyes does not come immediately. You will have to go through a lot, overcome uncertainty and fear. But only by stepping over yourself can you achieve what you were not capable of before.