How to wean a child from swearing: useful tips

How to wean a child from swearing? Good question. With a phenomenon such as rough abuse, sooner or later each of the parents will have to face. What is the very first reaction that usually occurs? Right. Swearing. Let’s scold the parents first, before we begin to reproach the child?

Where are the muslin girls? Those who roll their eyes and fall into a deep swoon from the word fuck or pipets. Or hypocrites who, having heard on the street an abusive word from someone else's child, raise their eyebrows high and lament something terrible about horror? Let's all get away from here, if there is no courage to face the truth.

All other sensible people and adequate parents together, cheerfully read, are ashamed and take note. Today, the truth is that swearing is an integral attribute of current realities. There are, of course, people who themselves do not swear. But they do not make squeamish grimaces, hearing from others.

To protect the child from unprintable expressions, you need to take him to a desert island without communication and the Internet. No other way. Scolding is everywhere. In cinema, literature, society. Sometimes a mate is simply necessary, but this does not mean that it should be used for a bunch of words.

Personal example

They say that you need to show your child a personal example that you can not swear. Good. Does he communicate with peers? Is watching TV? Is he already familiar with the Internet? In this case, a personal example will work only when you are the coolest. Sorry for the expression, but it is. Sometimes an intelligent mother has less weight in the eyes of a child than an obscene classmate.

Be for your offspring almost a deity. But not the one to be worshiped. And those who want to imitate. Parents may not use unprintable expressions, but once you do an unacceptable act in front of the baby’s eyes, that's all. Authority is lost.

What to do? Increase your credibility. Joint pastime is very conducive to this. You need to start from childhood, and not when a teenager gives you a “masterpiece” of verbal creativity. The character of a person is formed by 5 years. So have time to gain confidence before this age. After you have to work hard.

Play his games, read his books, learn to understand what is now fashionable in his environment. Then you can carefully lead the child to the right path. Well, do not swear.

How to respond

Is your baby cursing dirty for the first time? Do not rush to slap his ass or stomp his feet with loud cries of prohibition. And even more so do not dare to scold him with strangers. What do you care what others think? Sorry if embarrassed. It's enough. It is advisable not to show positive (smile, laughter), even if the mat sounds comical in the mouth of the baby.

What to do? Think, but he himself understood that he was cursing? Ask the child what the spoken word means. How does he know him? Why did you decide to use it now? And only after all that has been heard, decide what to do. Naturally, one needs to be interested in between a case, a familiar voice, without changing intonation. And even more so, it is absolutely categorically impossible to angrily demand an answer! Do not hold back and fell into a cry? Weigh yourself the mental slap - you have now greatly shaken your credibility.

Age 2-5 years. It is possible that the baby does not even know the meaning of the swear word. Instead of moralizing with the prohibitions and threats of all celestial judgment, simply explain that it is ugly to say so. If he answers that he often hears such an expression, then we can say that not everything in this world has a beautiful appearance.

It is advisable to transfer the conversation in a different direction. It is usually difficult for children at this age to focus on one thing for too long. Therefore, it is possible that the swear word will soon be forgotten forever.

Age 5-9 years. During this period, the children very much want to seem matured and independent. And, by the way, most of them already understand the meaning of swear words quite well. Therefore, it is necessary to act by the method of the opposite.

Explain to your child that you can’t express yourself in unprintable words. And if he continues to do this, then everyone around him will consider him a little indiscretion. Often, a child, out of a sense of contradiction, ceases to use swearing in speech. Or so that others would consider him quite an adult.

Just do not forget to encourage the child, praise and remind you more often: "You are very big with me!"

Age over 10. By this time, there are already certain leaders and idols among adolescents. Sometimes they gain popularity far from being white and fluffy. And now the process of isolation and the active search for white crows is going on in children. And, perhaps, in the yard or in the classroom, the little man has to prove that he is like everyone else. If the child declares to you that he swears, because everyone does this, then explain to him that he is unique. To be an individual, not a gray mass, is cool and prestigious. So, if everyone uses swearing, then he should not do this.

A sense of contradiction works well at this age. If you direct it in the right direction, then you can achieve excellent results. For example, allow your child to express himself whenever and wherever he wants. Usually children in spite of parents do the opposite.

If your child does not seek to contradict you, then there is another way. It is necessary to tell in detail that respect in society can be achieved not by the person who uses the mat in everyday speech. But only one who knows when to swear.

Punishment

Sometimes parents themselves simply cannot bring worthy arguments why it is impossible to express themselves unprintable. And they act in the old proven grandfather way: they punish. This method can not be used with a single expression or if the baby accidentally said a word heard somewhere. But it works great with those little hooligans who consciously use forbidden expressions.

It is strongly not recommended to use physical force in any of its manifestations! A classic slap or flogging with a belt will not do any good. Unless only a child harbors a grudge against you.

What to do? Forbid. Wants to walk? Let him sit at home. Would you like to go to the store with you? Nothing to do there. Used to surf the Internet? Take away a laptop or tablet. Do not fall for pleas, tears, threats. Take into account only the promise not to swear anymore.

In the second case, forbid more serious things. Choose your favorite. Cruel? Sure. But in no other way. The child knows how to manipulate parents very well and get everything on demand. For normal social adaptation, the child should know what the prohibition is and the rules of good behavior in society.

Some more tips

Sometimes the baby expresses his emotions in unprintable words: admiration, surprise, fright. In this case, we recommend that you try to enrich the vocabulary of the child. After all, there are so many synonyms that express the whole gamut of feelings beautifully and richly. You can teach a lesson like a game. Moreover, it is not necessary to devote specially allotted time to this. For example, on the way to the kindergarten. We saw a luxurious flowerbed. Ask your child to describe her in good words. When he begins to repeat, then tell him new ones.

Of course, for this you yourself must have a good vocabulary. If Mommy speaks the language, like Ellochka the ogre, then what kind of richness of the tongue can we talk about?

It is possible to enrich a child’s speech not only by reading books or special educational programs. Show your kid some black and white films from 1960-69. Especially with the participation of Efremov or Doronina. There are such monologues, you’ll sway! And it’s not necessary to make the baby watch them. Let him do his favorite toy, and the film goes like a backdrop.

Let the child not learn theatrical speech, but at least the correct beautiful expressions will be deposited in memory. And Japanese cartoons with exclamations instead of text, he still has time to catch a glimpse.

When communicating with peers, more advanced comrades educate a curious teenager on the subject of sexes. And in expressions completely unashamed. Does the child use mat in the context of designating body parts or the process of copulation? So what prevents you from taking a children's textbook on physiology and teaching a child to call them literate words, and not arenas?

Sometimes a child, hearing a new expression, asks his parents what it means. No need to grab a picture for the heart and drink indicatively valerian. You do not play in the theater. Do not try to blame your soulmate for the licentiousness of the baby, especially in his presence. This is a shame first of all for you.

Quite calmly we find out from the offspring how he recognized him. Remember the heroes of several jokes, perhaps the child simply did not hear the phrase or pronounced it incorrectly. If this is just abuse, then without raising your voice, we explain. That this is a bad expression, it is used when they want to offend another person. And be sure to explain that bad people also use obscenities. Otherwise, the baby will in his own way “offend” the one who caused him trouble.

Sometimes it happens that all your attempts end in defeat. And the offspring continues to shout curses at every turn. Then you have to turn to a psychologist. Your child may have a rare disease.

How to wean a child from swearing? Observe your own culture of speech, talk more with him and less focus on swear words.

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