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Women who have a joint sleep with the baby are less tired and nervous. The baby, lying near her parent, listens to her heartbeat, inhales the familiar smell. The child quickly calms down, less capricious and cries in the middle of the night. Mom and Dad have more rest and get enough sleep. But once they understand that it is time to move the baby in their own crib or even a room. How to wean a baby from sharing sleep quickly and without tantrums?
Traumatic practice
It is good for six month old babies to sleep with their parents. Young children learn the vast world gradually, and often the surrounding sounds and smells scare them. Mom’s voice and hugs are the best sedative that drives nightmares, and sometimes even cures colic. At this age, sleeping together is a salvation for parents who are tired of night cries and motion sickness.
By the age of one and a half years, kids become more independent and bold. Infants are not bothered by colic and midnight hunger. They are less often applied to the breast, and some refuse mother's milk and switch to adult food.
One year old baby needs a separate bed. Children who sleep with parents up to 3-5 years of age develop a strong dependence on their mother. Kids do not even let their parents go to the toilet, they make tantrums if a woman goes to the store for 20-30 minutes.
Moms practicing sleeping together at the age of three and older, deprive the child of their own space. The kid becomes non-independent, may lag behind in development. Some children later master cutlery and a toilet.
A child of 2-3 years old, dependent on her mother, may be jealous of her for dad. Kick him on the couch, act up and fight. Psychologists advise to refuse joint sleep at the age of 1.5–2 years to avoid such situations.
The right attitude
Some mothers believe that sharing a dream is a demonstration of their great love. But to show the child tender feelings can be another way. More often hug and praise the baby, play with him and read fairy tales. Children do not cease to adore their parents when they start to sleep separately.
A separate room is not a punishment, but a gift. Both adults and young family members need personal space. Mom must insist on her own. If a baby is bought a crib, he sleeps in it, and not near his parents. Kids resist, act up, cunning, but if they fail to convince adults, they give up.
Soothing touch
A sharp rejection of joint sleep can injure the child's psyche. Moms accustom a child to a separate bed gradually. When breastfeeding, sit in a chair or on a sofa. You can’t lie down with the baby. Eating is one of the most intimate moments when a child is in contact with a parent. It should not be associated with a bed or sofa.
After feeding, the woman cradles the baby and returns to the crib. Gradually, the child develops a reflex. He eats up and then falls asleep separately from his mother. Reception is triggered if the baby is 3 to 9-10 months old. The kid just does not have time to get used to sharing sleep. Rest associated with his cradle. The main thing is that the child does not remain alone. While the baby falls asleep, mom strokes his tummy, sings or tells a fairy tale.
Minus of the method: mom has to get up regularly to feed, change clothes or motion sickness of the child. Not all parents are ready to wake up in the middle of the night and go to another room to the crying baby.
With children who are 1-2 years old, you need to negotiate. Dad removes the side panel of the cradle and pushes the baby's cot to the adult. You can put a folding chair, if it has a flat and hard surface.
Mom invites the baby to lie in a crib. There is no partition, so it seems to the baby that he is sleeping with his parents. The main thing is that in the middle of the night the child does not climb to his mother's half of the bed.
Between a child seat and an adult sofa lay a blanket or blanket, rolled up. A soft barrier will not allow a sleepy baby to get to his parents. The blanket is stuffed into the gap between the bed and the cradle so that the sleeping child does not get stuck in it if it will toss and turn.
A woman puts the baby on a chair, and she always lies next to her. He turns on the nightlight, takes a book with fairy tales from the shelf and reads. You can just take the child by the hand and be silent. Children are different: some fall asleep only under a song or a story, others need silence and mother's embrace. Parents find a quick way to motion sickness experimentally. The main thing is to wait until the child is fast asleep. Then the woman can carefully get out of bed and go to the kitchen to drink tea and read a book. Tired mothers are advised to forget about dirty dishes and just relax while there is an opportunity.
Adult room
Children who are 2.5-3 years old are ready to move to their own bedroom. Parents prepare the baby for this event in a few months. It is said that all adult girls and boys have separate rooms. Soft toys live in the children's bedroom and there is a magic bed. She shows colorful and funny dreams to all adults. You just need to lie down, take cover with a warm blanket and close your eyes.
The tale of a room for large boys and girls and a magic bed is told to the child unobtrusively. For example, mom suggests playing or drawing. And during the process, so that the baby was not bored, shares the secret. The woman always mentions that only adults can enter the room.
When the child becomes interested and asks if he is big enough for his own bedroom, mom suggests going to the store and checking. If the baby finds his magic bed in which he will dream of fabulous places, then he can consider himself an adult.
You do not have to go to the store with a child. Parents buy a bed on their own and offer the baby to check how magical it is. If the young owner will sleep in the new room all night, then mom and dad have chosen the right furniture. Did your child have nightmares? It is necessary to decorate the bedroom with drawings and amulets, so that they drive away bad dreams. The main thing is to turn the move into a real fairy tale or adventure.
Furniture and accessories for a good sleep
A bed for a baby who is 2-3 years old should be flat and hard. Small children are not given pillows; they lead to curvature of the spine. Mom chooses a warm blanket and bed linen made from natural fabrics. The child will like bright pillowcases and sheets with beautiful patterns. They will make the bed comfortable and safe.
In the children's room should be a nightlight. It is advisable for the child to choose the lamp. In the form of a cartoon character or a beautiful flower. The light should be soft and subdued. Yellow, green or blue. The colors are soothing and relaxing. No red lights. They scare and do not let you fall asleep.
If the child is disturbed by light, the night light is turned on in the corridor or in the next room. Young children are afraid of the dark, especially when their mother is not around. You can not lock the baby in an unlit room and hope that he overcomes his fears.The darkness causes a child's attack of hysteria and panic, leading to the development of complexes and serious phobias.
Fun move
Together with a bed and a night lamp, parents buy a large soft toy for the baby. A teddy friend is chosen by a child. While dad is preparing a bedroom and glues wallpaper, mom sleeps with the baby. The toy also rests on the parent's bed. A woman puts a teddy friend between herself and the child so that he gets used to hugging a bear or cat instead of mom. Then the parental gift will be associated with comfort, warmth and security.
The child will take the stuffed toy with him to the nursery. She will become his guard, who will protect against monsters and bad dreams.
From the first day, mother makes it clear that only the baby sleeps in the nursery. In the evening she comes to the child, sits down in an armchair or on a bed, reads fairy tales or talks about something. But when the son or daughter falls asleep, the woman gets up and leaves.
Children are not always enthusiastic about moving. Often they:
- wake up in the middle of the night by accident or on purpose and come to the parent's bedroom;
- asking mom to stay in their crib;
- their parents are calling and complaining about monsters;
- cry and refuse to fall asleep in the nursery.
The child who came to his parents in the middle of the night is comforted for the first time and taken to his room. If necessary, give a drink, change diapers, read a short tale. The second time mom says nothing. Silently takes the hand and returns to the nursery. She hides, gives a toy and leaves.
Sometimes parents have to repeat the procedure 5-7 times per night. The main thing is to hold on and not scream. Do not say anything, do not argue, and silently take them back. The child must understand that:
- you can not sleep with mom and dad;
- no one is going to play with him;
- at night, children relax, and do not roam the apartment.
Usually the baby has 3 days to learn the new rules. Parents need to go through a period of adaptation and not give up.
More difficult with children who come up with stories about monsters under the bed. Mom or dad has to get up in the middle of the night, check the closet and other scary places, and then calm the frightened child. Adult talk about fantasies will not solve the problem. Young children believe in fairy tales, so parents come up with a few simple rules on how to get rid of a monster under the bed. For example, a stronger hug a toy and ask to drive the monster.
If fairy tales do not work, and the child brings himself to nervous breakdowns, parents should consult a psychologist. Perhaps childhood fears are the result of a trauma that needs to be worked out. After several sessions, the monsters will disappear, and the baby will be happy to fall asleep in his own bedroom.
Tricky Methods
The child will not have the strength and desire to arrange night tantrums if his mother helps him get rid of excess energy. A woman for several days forgets about washing and mopping and plays with the baby around the clock. No cartoons, or even daytime sleep. The child must:
- run around the apartment;
- jump or dance;
- walk on the street for 3-4 hours.
Exercise exhausts young children. In the evening they lay down in their own bed with pleasure and quickly fall asleep.
Methods have cons:
- A woman cannot always shift her household responsibilities to her dad or grandmother.
- Children deprived of daytime sleep become irritable and moody.
- Some kids do not like to walk and refuse outdoor games.
Mom tries a different approach. It allows the child to come into the parent's bedroom at night. Happy puts the baby in his own bed. When he gets used to waking up in a different setting, his mother begins to teach him to relax separately from his parents.
In the evening, the woman allows the baby to fall asleep at her side, then gently transfers it to the nursery. It is important that the bed is warm. Under a blanket, put a heating pad or several bottles filled with hot water.Children wake up from the cold, and parents have to rock them again.
Advice
- The child will quickly get used to a separate room, if mom will play a lot with him and communicate in the afternoon. It is more difficult for children without parental attention to refuse to sleep together.
- After lunch, the baby is fed with light mashed potatoes and juices. In the evening they give porridge or a meat dish. Well-fed children have a sound and healthy sleep. After a hearty dinner, the kids relax and agree to stay in their room without unnecessary tantrums.
- The child goes to bed at the same time. Mom must abide by the regimen.
- Parents come up with a ritual of falling asleep. For example, first the baby takes a warm bath, then puts on pajamas and listens to the fairy tale.
Children who are used to sleeping together do not want to part with their mother. A woman will have to endure whims, tears, night sicknesses and screams. But mother must defend her borders and not give up. Only then the baby will understand that it is time to sleep separately from parents, and agrees to move to a nursery.
Video: how to wean a child to sleep in parental bed
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