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In films and books, shyness looks extremely attractive, the young lady blushes, hides her eyes, thereby bewitching the guy. It is important to understand that in real life everything is much more confusing. It is difficult for a girl to build a long-term relationship, because the constant search for flaws with her own appearance and behavior makes her closed. We are not talking about the slight shyness that is inherent in every lady, we are talking about excessive closeness and insecurity.
Causes of shyness in front of a guy
It is known that parents to some extent cripple children. Some pamper them, while others, on the contrary, scold. Shyness arises in early childhood and passes with a person into adulthood.
Try to remember, there have been cases when your mother compared you to a classmate, saying that she is a better student, attends music school and will achieve much in life, unlike you? It is precisely such actions that lay in the character of a still little girl a fear of comparisons on the part of native people. You have heard this so often that the statements have become true for you, thereby lowering your self-esteem with each similar case.
Another example is this: as a little girl, you probably shouted loudly or made noise in public places (like all children). At that moment, your parents began to shame you, they say, if not ashamed, people are looking at you. Such statements on the part of the ancestors firmly lie in memory, leading future life. The child unconsciously begins to feel fear about what others will think. But it’s important to understand that you are no longer a little girl, by and large, people don’t care how you behave and what you are wearing.
As for other adults, such as a teacher or teacher, they also do not always have a sense of tact. Often, teachers publicly speak out about the illiteracy of their students, shame them in front of the team, making the child feel mediocre and inferior. Hence, shyness and uncertainty in one's own strength appear, a person ceases to be a person in full measure, individuality is lost.
If we talk about peers, then they are completely ruthless. Schoolchildren, children from a neighboring courtyard or creative club constantly scoff at a person who does not look like them. Perhaps you had freckles on your nose or puffy cheeks, which led to various nicknames. There are frequent cases when a girl grows up and still remembers all the teasing and insults regarding her appearance, physique or mental abilities. Understand that not everything that people say is true.
Signs of shyness
- Shy girls often sweat, are afraid to show up loudly and constantly blush. Their heart beats quickly, their movements become abrupt and illogical, provoking awkward moments.
- Shy ladies do not look into the interlocutor’s eyes, their thoughts are completely focused on imaginary wrong actions or expressions. Girls fall into a stupor when talking with the opposite sex, trying to understand what thoughts fly through their minds at the guys in their heads.
- In addition to the above, attentiveness is greatly reduced. Ladies constantly lose the essence of the conversation, their brain works in slow motion, memory becomes shorter. Girls quickly lose interest in what is happening.
How to stop being shy guy
Step number 1. Show emotions. Communicating with a young man, do not hesitate to speak openly. Do you catch your breath and sweat your palms when he looks like this? Report this. Believe me, no guy will be indifferent to hearing such words.He will not perceive this as a flaw; a young man will find such behavior cute.
Step number 2. Exercise. Exercising helps release endorphins, which reduce stress, and as a result, awkward moments disappear. Sign up for a gym or dance, attend a trial lesson in stretching, Pilates or kickboxing. Modern studios offer a ton of facilities at an affordable price. With the help of physical exertion, you will not only gain confidence, but also tighten the body, pump up the press, stop being shy of intimacy.
Step number 3. Watch your appearance. Tidy girls are less shy, they are confident in their beauty and well-groomed appearance. Visit a manicure and pedicure master several times a month, cut off the cut hair and tint the regrown roots. Do not save on your own beauty. Shy ladies do not attend salons, they prefer to stay in the shade and be unremarkable. You can act radically by repainting in a different color and changing the length of the hair.
Step number 4. Take the initiative. Guys quickly get tired of everyday life, they get bored with shy girls. To avoid this, become an initiative lady. Invite the young man to the cinema or organize a picnic in nature, go ice skating, take a walk in the park. An important feature of this step is the complete exclusion of situations that can put you in an awkward position. Decide on makeup, hairstyles, choose beautiful and suitable clothes in advance, think over topics for conversation.
Step number 5. Learn all about intimate life. A guy and a girl sooner or later begin to have sex. In order not to be shy in bed, learn all about intimate life. There is a ton of information on the Internet, if this is not enough for you, visit the library or chat with experienced friends. Watch relevant films, study poses or look through magazines for girls. Information is power, such an event must be prepared in advance to overcome embarrassment.
Step number 6. Engage in a joint business. Invite the guy to sign up for Latin American dances, salsa, tango, or other directions to choose from. Such art completely eliminates all complexes, because you work in pairs. At first it can be difficult and embarrassing, but after 2 weeks you will forget about what shyness is.
Step number 7. Get interested in the guy’s life. Learn the hobbies and main hobbies of the young man, try to delve into the details to skillfully maintain a conversation. For greater effectiveness, ask his friends, brothers, sisters, or parents about his favorite books and sports. When you are in the know, you will automatically avoid awkward pauses in the conversation due to your own ignorance. The conversation will go easily and naturally, and shyness will recede to the side.
Step number 8. Meet the guy’s family. You will cease to be shy at the moment when you meet young people close to you. If he has a brother or sister, invite them to sit together in a cafe, go to the movies or just take a walk. More courageous ladies are recommended to get acquainted with the parents of the gentleman to find out from his mother about his quirks and tastes in food. You will feel much more confident when you prepare a guy for your favorite cooking. The method is suitable only for those girls who are well equipped with kitchen utensils.
Step number 9. Engage in self-development. Try to make some time for your own development, both spiritual and material. Have you wanted to attend makeup courses for a long time and work by profession? Go for it! Doesn't this direction fit? Engage in drawing with an experienced teacher, sign up for piano courses, start learning a foreign language. Shyness will recede as soon as you get off the ground and begin to improve your skills.
Step number 10.Attend psychological training. Personality growth courses will help girls living in big cities to get rid of shyness. Experienced professionals will make you a confident person, tell you what to look for in a particular situation. There are trainings designed not for one lesson, but for the whole course. At the end of the last lesson, you will leave the building with a completely different person. An alternative to training is a session with a psychologist, but the cost per visit is much higher.
Shy of a guy? Stop it! Analyze your own childhood, exclude complexes inspired by parents from adult life. Regularly visit a beauty salon, monitor your appearance. Morally prepare for intimacy, improve yourself, go to personal growth courses.
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