How to survive a husband’s betrayal: advice from a psychologist

Often, at the time of marriage, a woman is confident in her man. She fully understands that he is with her "in sorrow and joy, wealth and poverty." However, in reality the situation is different. After a honeymoon and years of marriage, a man begins to glance to the left. Perhaps this is due to household routine or the girl stopped monitoring herself. The essence is clear: the companion cheated on the lady of the heart, the woman is desperate and constantly cries.

Husband betrayed: what should not be done

In order not to bring yourself to delirium tremens, you must clearly understand - if betrayed, this is his problem, not yours. Learn key aspects that can help you cope more easily.

Do not change in response

1. Men justify their betrayals with polygamy, which their nature has awarded. But in fact they are just males. Do not stoop to such baseness as retaliation.
2. Many couples reconcile after betrayal. If you now have an affair on the side, then you will regret it (or not, it all depends on the type of character).
3. In any case, one should not exclude the fact that the traitor satellite was simply looking for adventure on its own head. He fell into spells or seduced another woman, not about to leave you.
4. Until the situation is resolved completely, psychologists do not advise building new, albeit fleeting, relationships. So you draw into your life the “fourth superfluous”, which is not at all to blame.
5. After the betrayal, men prefer to return to the family with their children and the mistress-wife, who now and then works all day, erases and cooks.
6. If you decide to break the relationship at this stage, you can start a new relationship after you deal with the current ones. In all other cases, the husband will look at the behavior of the spouse as a betrayal. If a cease-fire does occur, you will not correct your mistake.

Do not resort to female tricks

1. Women make a fatal mistake - go to the fortuneteller with the goal of making a love spell. It is important to understand that if the husband left, his forced return will bring only pain. Ultimately, you will live with an insignificant person who constantly feels guilty.
2. This behavior is not acceptable for an adult woman. To blackmail a spouse with children, to speculate by marriage, to constantly roar is also not an option. In addition to anger and disgust, the husband does not feel anything.
3. The above methods will only distance you from the satellite. He will begin to avoid his lady of the heart without any contact. Simply put, behave naturally, do not make a drama out of what is happening, but do not hide the feeling of emptiness.

Do not drink alcohol

1. Girls who are used to ending their day with a glass or a bottle of wine often lean on alcohol in any stressful situations. Drinking alcohol with treason is a bad choice in this situation.
2. Besides the headache in the morning, bitter tears in the evening and incoherent speech, you will not feel anything. Alcohol exceeds the complexity of the problem, making betrayal something else.
3. It is important to understand that a man’s departure is not the end of the world. Thousands of women survive treason and continue to lead a full-fledged existence. If you really want to drink, call a friend to visit and take a light cocktail.
4. Ladies in age should completely forget about alcohol. It is clear that 30, 40, 50 years of marriage will not disappear without a trace. However, you should think about your health. Alcohol causes cirrhosis of the liver, dependence, heart ailments, blockage of blood vessels, persistent migraines.

Do not try to take revenge

1. Every girl who is betrayed wants to make her husband's life unbearable. Vengeance is the first thing that appears on the mind in a period of despair.
2. The shock is increased if the man left the lady at the moment when she is carrying a child. In pregnant girls, the hormonal imbalance goes off scale, so they can not reason sensibly.
3. The most interesting thing is that such cases are not uncommon. A girl during pregnancy experiences a massive release of hormones. Even a fly buzzing over her ear seems to her a full-blown disaster.
4. In this situation, it is not worth building the intrigues of a new passion for the spouse and himself. Think about the future baby, rebuild your life, get ready for the upcoming birth. Find support and support in your close ones, less nervous.

Do not give arguments

1. After the betrayal, the woman does her best to understand what she did wrong. Why did the spouse change, go to another, cross out all the highlights? Do not try to reach out to him or prove anything.
2. From your lips the given arguments will be understood not so. The husband will think that you are desperate and wish to return him by any means. Give him the opportunity to realize his action.
3. Remember, the softer and more peaceful your behavior will be, the more suspicious your spouse will begin to relate to you. Without these manipulations, you will benefit, because the companion himself cheated on a good wife.
4. Do not try to sit at the negotiating table with the words “Tell me, for what? What have I done wrong? ” In the end, the dialogue will end with your tears, his anger and general misunderstanding. When both of you have cooled, start a conversation.

Do not panic

1. You should not fall into despair, "tear and throw" just because the spouse has cheated on you. Everyone is alive, healthy, this is the main thing. It is not his fault that he turned out to be a weak-willed, weak-character creature. I could not restrain myself when a new passion appeared on the horizon.
2. In turn, you are not to blame for the fact that the woman stood between you and pulled the spouse to her side. At that time, she was more important to him. However, this does not make you a bad wife, because during the marriage you were everything for him.
3. After time, the new girl will become familiar to the man. He will cease to appreciate her, will again begin to glance "to the left." And she will not be to blame for this, the main "hero of the day" is a weak male essence.

The husband betrayed: what to do?

After realizing what is happening, you need to move on or return to the past if the relationship has not ended. It all depends on the starting position of both sides.

Take cheating for granted

1. No need to constantly moan, stop practicing self-flagellation. Try to find out the true cause of the betrayal. The words "What am I for?" or "He is such a goat as he could ..." will not help here.
2. Take off your pink glasses and take it for granted. Engage in analysis of your actions. Perhaps you stopped monitoring yourself or often disappeared at work?
3. What made her husband cheat? After answering this question you can reasonably reason. If the lady does not bother to give the satellite the missing attention, this automatically pushes him to treason. In part, the situation happened because of you two.

Don't hold back emotions

1. Anger, resentment and endless bitterness will torment your soul. To get rid of these emotions, you need to let them out. No, no, it’s not necessary to call her husband and say what a bastard he is.
2. It is enough to call a friend or mother, then pour out the soul of a loved one. If necessary, throw things spouse against the wall, cry, beat the pillow.
3. The main thing is not to try to withdraw into yourself. This will not bring anything good, afterwards you will only become mired in even greater depression. Eat more, even if the piece does not go into the throat. Food calms, uplifting.
4. Find a selection of fun movies, order your favorite food from a Chinese or Japanese restaurant, pizzeria. Watch TV shows with friends, try to be less alone with your thoughts.
5. If you feel that you are about to break loose, write down your emotions in a diary. On a piece of paper, state all the thoughts (you can swear) that you would say to your husband in person.
6. You have every right to tears, but do not hurt other people. Do not allow yourself to break into your family. Accept the offer of friends to have dinner or go to the movies.

Review your habits

1. Psychologists unanimously reiterate that to relieve the pain of betrayal and flipping through this chapter of your life is possible only if you change your habitual being.
2. Redefine your life radically. Get a pet, a parrot, a cat or a dog will do. Give the animal all the attention and affection, because the pet completely deserves it.
3. With the betrayal of the spouse, you gained a lot of time for yourself, this is a plus. Pay attention to your own appearance. If you need to lose a couple of kilograms, feel free to go to the gym and go on a diet.
4. Change the hairstyle, dye your hair, grow your nails. Start attending a massage, the sessions are well relaxing and allow you to tune in to the right wave.
5. Throw away all things that do not sit well on you. Attend trainings to increase self-esteem, sign up for any courses (driving, hair extensions, etc.).
6. Pay attention to your income. If necessary, change jobs or find a source of additional income. Buy yourself expensive shoes or a handbag, underwear, cosmetics and anything you want. Surely her husband considered the cost of goods incredibly sky-high.

Take a rest

1. During the period of emotional shake-up, it is very important to pay attention to your mental state in time. If you feel that you will soon fall off, try to take a vacation and leave.
2. It doesn't matter which resort or vacation you choose. Follow your financial condition. Perhaps the time has come to visit old friends or to pay a visit to distant relatives.
3. Relax your body and soul, do not wallow around the pool. Visit excursions, swim in the sea, take pictures. You must fly home rested and full of impressions.
4. You can perfectly unwind with the help of extreme sports. These include parachuting or bungee jumping, karting (jet skis, ATVs, cross bikes, horses).
5. After what happened fill your day with the most fun activities. Visit sports sections or dances, a water park, bowling. Avoid any contact with the traitor.
6. When you understand that a renewed relationship will not lead to anything good, prepare documents for filing for divorce. At the same time, do not keep your heart closed, communicate with the opposite sex and take courtship.

After the husband’s betrayal, do not lean on alcohol; try to think objectively. Do not resort to female tricks in the form of a love spell, tears, blackmail. Take off your pink glasses and realize that cheating has occurred. Try to move forward, take a rest, fundamentally review the usual life principles. Do not close yourself from the opposite sex.

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