How to survive a divorce from her husband: advice from a psychologist

Not all couples clearly adhere to the oath, wanting to be together in grief and joy. Unfortunately, many modern marriages break up for various reasons. Infidelity, complexity of characters, problems in terms of money - this and much more can lead to a break. If you are currently experiencing a divorce, you probably think this period is the most difficult streak in life. Let's look at the psychological aspects that will lead to a white stripe.

Why women experience divorce harder

Girls by nature are extremely emotional, quickly attached to circumstances, family life, cozy conversations and gatherings in the evenings with her husband. The association of the “ideal family” is difficult to get out of my head. When a woman is at the stage of divorce, she can’t get used to the fact that there is no one else to stroke, cook, wash, wait from work.

On this basis, an absolutely new way of being is formed, as an independent and independent person. The situation is complicated if the lady in the marriage was completely dependent on a partner in material terms.

Few people admit that against the backdrop of mental imbalance, they experience a collapse in paying bills and buying groceries. It is especially difficult to survive a divorce if the couple already has children, since the child remains with the mother. It is necessary to feed, dress and create other benefits for a full existence.

All friends and relatives who partially loved and supported the ex-husband turn away. Misunderstanding on their part is not excluded. Like, such a caring and kind man left. Pressure leads to the development of depression, because there is simply no one to speak out.

It is extremely difficult for women who devoted all their time to family relationships and literally lived as their spouse. Sincere love leads to depression in the process of divorce. For most women, a husband is not only a breadwinner and earner, but also a support, friend, lover.

Experienced specialists in the field of psychology found out why women find it more difficult to divorce. Among the influential aspects include a lack of money, lack of career prospects (because she sat at home and raised her children, ironed, washed, cleaned), independent support of the child and care for him, unwillingness to build a new family.

Step number 1. Get rid of negative feelings and thoughts.

1. The most difficult days are the first days after the divorce, when an official paper about the new status was received. A woman falls asleep at night with thoughts, how disagreeable and disgusting to her from her ex-husband.
2. If anger is found on you, learn to disengage. In the first couple of days do not stay alone, invite your friend to spend the night. The same goes for daytime, find a hobby.
3. Do not keep emotions, express everything that has boiled during the marriage. Write negative thoughts on a piece of paper to let them go. Cry on mom's or girlfriend’s shoulder.

Step number 2. Spend time with friends

1. After a divorce, a woman does not feel as strong as before. She needs the support that her spouse provided in the past. But now he is gone, so find the vest in a different face.
2. Often attend recreational activities, bowling, a movie theater. Take the habit of eating pizza on Sundays, gathering with loved ones.

Step number 3. Get rid of old things

1. After the break, it is necessary to minimize the impact of psychological factors on the nervous system. Get rid of all the little things, things and souvenirs acquired together.
2. Do not regret anything and throw away products. Do not give things an opportunity to remind about the former husband. You can give all the junk to charity. After a relatively difficult step, you will feel relief.

Step number 4. Embark on a journey

1. To unwind and say goodbye to annoying thoughts, you need to go on a trip. Remember the wonderful feelings and emotions after a successful trip. If you have problems with finances, you can relax by a burning ticket.
2. Try to visit another country or a beautiful city. New places give an unforgettable experience. Thoughts become clear and positive. Do not bother with problems; they are in the past. Live on, everything is just beginning.

Step number 5. Do repairs in the apartment

1. To make the divorce easier to experience, psychologists recommend giving all your free time to the repair. The new environment will allow you to forget the old experiences. If you live in a rented apartment, it is better to move.
2. In other cases, give vent to imagination. Get the wallpaper you've always dreamed of. Choose the appropriate curtains, get rid of old furniture and buy new ones. Do not be afraid of costs, everything will be rewarded. Make a permutation and spring cleaning.

Step number 6. Change your style

1. Try to completely change the image that was before the divorce. Choose the right haircut, start attending the gym and solarium. A new look will give you more confidence and attractiveness.
2. It is not necessary to assume that the time of divorce is a terrible period. On the contrary, you will have an extra minute for your beloved. Arrange global shopping, try to dress in an unusual style for you.

Step number 7. Get a pet

1. If you have no children or pets in your relationship with your husband, evening time alone can be depressing. In this case, it is recommended to get a pet. Know, the animal certainly will not betray you.
2. Do a good deed, pick up a domestic animal or visit a shelter and pick up a puppy, a kitten. Positive actions favorably affect the psyche and help to overcome any difficulties.

Step number 8. Tune in to positive and new relationships

1. At the time of breaking up and worrying about divorce, don't tune in to depression. Do not get hung up on the fact that you can no longer fall in love, this is not so. Most divorced women for a long time eschew a new relationship because of fear of repeated betrayal.
2. Try to step over yourself and leave negative emotions behind. The main reasons for the divorce is that people simply do not fit together. Believe me, after meeting with "your" man, the world will sparkle with new colors. You take a look at the relationship and you will be truly happy.
3. “Your” person will make the relationship happy, complete harmony and mutual understanding will come. A man will appreciate you, share plans for life and addictions. You need to hold on to such a person, however, the satellite himself will not want to lose his soulmate. Relations will move to a new level that you have not seen before.
4. Do not rush to purposefully seek your ideal after a divorce. In most cases, such an event occurs suddenly. You will feel attracted to each other, do not worry. Sometimes it can take a lot of time to find your person.
5. Do not try with the help of another man to forget about old feelings. First, lower everything yourself and after that start new acquaintances and communication. Do not rush or be frivolous. Live some time for yourself, develop yourself. Try to change your worldview in a more positive way.
6. Sometimes allow yourself to flirt. Feel that you are again attractive and interesting to the opposite sex.Do not rush to the neck of the first man you meet who likes. Before you start a new relationship, you must completely change inside.
7. Analyze the situation after a failed marriage, try to change all the minuses in yourself. Do not be afraid to conduct introspection. Only strong people are capable of such an action, do not feel sorry for yourself. A failed marriage could be your fault. Remember what contributed to the divorce. Become wiser.

How to alleviate the condition of the child

Earlier it was mentioned that the child greatly complicates the task. Of course, not in a bad sense. The mother wishes the best for the child, so she is trying in every possible way to ensure that the divorce minimally affects the baby or does not touch him at all. If you have ended a relationship with your ex-spouse with a scandal, you need to smooth out the pressure on the children's psyche.

To do this, talk with the child and try to clearly explain to him that mom and dad broke up. Explain the true causes of the rupture in the language available to the child’s brain. No need to expose the father of the family in black, so as not to set the child against him. Make it clear to the baby that even when living at a distance, the father will visit and love him.

The next thing to do is talk with your ex-husband. Put all the dots on the "i", do not forbid dad to see the baby. It is important to understand that, despite all the differences between adults, children are not to blame. If it will be easier for you, write a schedule on which day your father will be able to pick up the child for walks or see you under your supervision. Children will not feel guilty if parents go to a conditional world for their sake.

Never manipulate children to save a marriage. Not a single man has yet been able to keep the child for a long time. Sooner or later, the partner will wither with you due to a lack of love, a twinkle or other aspects. If you manipulate the child, in the end, this will lead to constant quarrels in the baby's eyes. Do you need it?

Find the strength to forgive your ex-husband for any "sins" that he committed. In some women, an insult has settled, which does not dissolve even in time (3.5.10 years). Do not be equal to them, know how to let go of the past, only then you will have a happy present and future.

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