How to part with a loved one

Probably everyone in life experienced unpleasant moments of parting with a loved one. No matter who left whom, the feeling of emptiness remains with both. After all, romantic dates began so beautifully, the relationship developed rapidly, it seemed that it would always be so. But the end came unexpectedly, leaving sadness and longing for past love. Parting seems to be the only right decision, but where to get the strength to overcome the moment of explanation?

Prerequisites for the separation

Time passes, in some the separation occurs at the initial stage of the relationship, in others after a long time, but the prerequisites for such a step are most often the same for everyone. Initially, minor quarrels and misunderstandings, small conflicts, escalating into violent scandals. In relationships, irritation, cold and indifference are increasingly manifest. There comes a time when one of the couple or both understand that this is the end and nothing can be glued. Parting is the only way out. Ideal when both unanimously came to such a decision. In this case, psychological losses are minimized. But if you are the initiator, then there is always time and opportunity to weigh the pros and cons and prepare the way for the correct separation.

How best to break up

The decision should be firm, without hesitation. It is better to repeatedly analyze all the moments of your relationship and the personal qualities of a loved one, since such decisions should not be made spontaneously. If a break is inevitable, choose a convenient moment and try to devote enough time to the conversation. The unsuccessful exit will be your silent disappearance. Such an act is regarded differently, it is likely that the partner will do everything for the search. It is important that the conversation takes place in person, and not over the phone. Serious explanations are coming, the reasons should be stated in such a way that after parting there are no omissions, and the abandoned person does not feel cheated.

Having made the final decision, do not reassure the partner, saying that you will take a break in the relationship, do not hint at a possible future together. Some people are overly emotional, and empty expectations end sadly.

Avoid direct reproaches and accusations, especially humiliations. Most often, both parties are to blame for a cracked relationship. Maybe the partner simply did not turn out to be the expected ideal, as your imagination painted it at the beginning. The conversation should proceed calmly, without a raised tone and coldness in order to avoid stormy scenes.

Explain the reason for the break, which should be valid, even if it is not true. Thank you for the pleasant moments during your meetings, without going into details. Suggest staying friends if possible. Such examples are enough when people have reached mutual understanding and maintain friendly relations, in some cases even families.

The situation may be the opposite - they left you. It seems that life has stopped, the constant feeling of loneliness does not leave, disappointment and resentment overwhelm. Occasionally, the thought skips that it is necessary to overcome everything and start over. This should be emphasized.

Psychologist's advice

There can be many reasons for parting - the initiator is one of the partners, or they came to this decision together. A mental wound remains in both one half and the other. Similar situations of friends and acquaintances will give a hint how best to leave, but the advice of a family psychologist should not be rejected.

A mutual solution is the most successful option. Passion and love passed as you recognized each other day after day. The desire to be the best for a partner has disappeared. Relations have become commonplace, and their continuation does not make sense. In this case, there is a chance of a return, maybe the uniformity is to blame for everything, and you hurried. Try to restore the pleasant moments that gave both of you pleasure. If resuscitation is not possible, then the decision to part will not cause any particular injury, but it is important to maintain respect and dignity. Separate calmly, without tantrums and scandal, leaving good memories of yourself and past relationships.

The initiator of the breakup is usually in a better position. Think about where to start and how to notify your partner so that the explanations go smoothly for him, and therefore for you. Avoid meaningful dates for moments of unpleasant conversation and harsh phrases. It is best to announce a break-up at home, try to solve everything in one meeting, excluding the possibility of subsequent clarification of the relationship.

The most unpleasant option is the initiative of the opposite half. The declaration of a loved one that you cannot be together anymore. Your feelings, hopes for the future, devotion are trampled at one moment and, as it seems to you, humiliated. The state of emptiness cannot be conveyed. And the situation is aggravated when the initiator is another. What to do, how to survive?

Strange as it may seem, tears come first. A great remedy for healing (according to psychologists), healing the wounds. Internal pain destroys from the inside, and the outpouring splashes out negative emotions and, as a result, weakens.

Do not waste your own energy on suffering. Direct it in a more pleasant and useful direction for you. Engage in personal and business activities. Show kindness to those in need (parents, neighbors, friends). This will make you feel useful and necessary.

Psychologists assure that cardinal changes in a person’s appearance and external environment will play a huge role in restoring a psychological state. A new hairstyle, a change in the image of clothes, updating the interior of an apartment, any experiment will make you feel like a different person, will give a powerful impetus to the beginning of a new life.

How to overcome mental stress

In this situation, there are no standard recommendations, but maybe some of the following will come in handy for someone, and even better if they help a little.

1. Do something. Active actions quite often help a person out in moments of seeming hopelessness. The work helps to shift one's attention to fulfilling immediate duties, to distract oneself from personal problems, and leaves no time for worries at least for some period of time. An alternative would be to study, a fascinating hobby. Take your free time.
2. Some are treated for stress in sports. Together with the expended forces, negative emotions go away that can destroy you in moments of gloom.
3. Get rid of things reminiscent of a loved one. Hide, if you do not dare to throw away, joint photographs, presents from him (her) until the pain abates.
4. Do not visit places where you can meet, and do not arrange "random" meetings. Such moments will only aggravate your state of mind. This also applies to sad love songs and romantic films. Do not artificially tickle your nerves.
5. Try to draw the pros from the current situation, look for the positive. Previously, there was not enough time for personal affairs, they paid too much attention to a half, but now there is an opportunity to take care of yourself. Take this chance.
6. No need to invent ways of revenge.Sometimes after parting, the one who is left tries to do the same in relation to another chosen one (chosen one). Just think first that another person will experience experiences like yours, and it will not become easier for you.

If you are left, giving preference to another or another, do not blame yourself, do not search for your own shortcomings, do not build illusions. Physically and mentally release your ex-beloved or beloved one who left you and continue to live on, seeking new acquaintances and relationships. The experience gained may even come in handy.

Mental feelings, pain, tears after parting with a loved one. Everything passes, a little time and reasonable decisions will help to overcome stress. And the belief that the completion of one relationship is the beginning of life from scratch is mandatory.

Video: how to survive a breakup with a loved one