The content of the article
There is no ideal method for raising children. Kids, like adults, are different. Some are calm and thoughtful, others are active and overly curious. The third are moody and naughty, and the fourth are reserved and silent. Only the mother knows the character of the child, and it is she who chooses the methods and tips that work and help her develop the baby. Psychologists and educators can only tell you what you don’t need to do in order to protect the fragile children's psyche from injuries.
Mom, don't swear
Physical punishment has long been out of fashion. Kids are stubborn and slow, drop something or scatter, making mom nervous and angry, but petty pranks are not a reason for slapping on the pope. A belt is a beautiful accessory that is not intended for raising children. Like twigs, ropes and other devices for torture.
Anger is poured out in the gym or on the forums for mothers, where parents complain of fatigue and naughty babies. In real life, conflict situations with a child are solved by talking and civilized punishments:
- A boycott that lasts 20-30 minutes.
- A chair for thought, from which it is forbidden to get up until time runs out.
- Deprivation of favorite toys: dinosaurs and dolls are taken from young children, telephones and tablets from teenagers.
You can’t allow the child everything in the world and approve of his bad behavior, but they don’t recommend shouting for small mistakes. Kids with whom they speak exclusively in raised tones grow up nervous and withdrawn. It is difficult for such children to get rid of low self-esteem and the fear of doing something wrong.
Moms are ordinary people, not robots, so they have breakdowns. She screamed, slapped, and sent to a corner? It’s not scary if then the woman cools down, calms down and asks the baby for forgiveness for her bad behavior.
I myself
Children who know how to walk are able to independently serve themselves or even help their mother. They try to sweep, wash dishes, make a bed, eat and dress without parents. Pull the right shoe on the left foot, break a few plates and carry garbage throughout the house, but that's okay. They learn to be independent, and the task of the mother is not to interfere, but to prompt and quietly help.
You can not protect children from domestic work. Did the son offer to wash the dishes after the family dinner so that mom could relax? Give him a sponge and show where the sink is. Daughter decided to make a bookshelf? Not to prohibit, but to supply with boards, nails and everything necessary.
Preschoolers are able to make a bed and put their toys in place, bake cakes under their mother’s guidance and walk the dog. Teenagers can earn money by spreading newspapers and helping retirees. And it’s not scary if the child from an early age became independent. It is necessary to rejoice, and not be afraid that he will not have a childhood.
Kids who are too patronized grow up infantile and lazy. They are in no hurry to look for work and move out from their parents, to achieve something in adulthood. Forty-year-old men and women go to the doctor for a pen with their mother, remain single and miserable.
Curiosity is not a vice
How does a child know this world? Asking questions. He wonders why birds fly so high, how fish live under water, and where it came from. Children's curiosity must be satisfied. To tell, show examples, conduct experiments and together look for answers. If mom or dad does not know how the plane is arranged, it does not matter.At their fingertips they have the Internet, smart books, and the magic phrase: “Let's see together.”
With a child you can talk on any topic, even "adults", but carefully select the words. No need to replace the names of the genital organs with “pestles” and “bells”. But it’s enough for a five-year-old baby to know that children appear only in adults who have fallen in love and exchanged body fluids. Adolescents are recommended to talk in detail about the process of fertilization, sex and other nuances.
One of the main mistakes of parents is to dismiss or aggressively respond to children's questions. Gradually, the child loses interest in the world around him and realizes that mom and dad will not satisfy his need for knowledge. He ceases to trust adults, seeks support from peers or other people, to whom he will later come for advice if problems arise.
Talking with children, parents get closer. They turn into friends and mentors with whom you can share secrets and experiences, ask strange and exciting questions and not be afraid that you will be condemned or not understood. Children should be curious, because thanks to this trait they become geniuses.
Young talents
Moms once dreamed of becoming ballerinas or singers, and dads wanted to score a penalty or knock down an opponent with one hit. Adults try to make models and football players out of children if they themselves could not master this profession. But children do not always share the interests of parents. Sons want to dance, and daughters persistently cram chemistry and cross indoor flowers.
Being different is not against the law. You don’t need to enroll your child in violin lessons if he likes astronomy or drawing. Children have their own preferences, which should be considered and developed. Give them colored pencils, musical instruments or a karate uniform. Encourage any undertakings and rejoice if the child managed to take second or third place.
And if the baby does not like to draw and knock on the drum, do not get upset. Perhaps he will become a businessman or music critic, a famous engineer, or open his own restaurant.
Golden children
Pasha has a tablet, Seryozha bought a radio-controlled helicopter, and Masha was presented with gold earrings. Parents try to make their children look no worse than their neighbors and buy expensive toys for five-year-olds and schoolchildren. You can pamper the child, but in moderation.
The computer of the latest model will not make him happy. Yes, children enjoy luxurious gifts, but then they demand more and complain that their parents do not pay attention to them. Smartphones and jewelry will not make kids happy.
Parents should ask themselves, what moments from childhood do they remember? Buying a tape player and jeans? Or hiking in the mountains with parents? Bonfire in nature, when dad taught to fish, and my mother showed how to cook a delicious ear or make a fire?
Children need impressions and the feeling of a fairy tale. Memories of how he and his parents sculpted a snowman, received chocolates from a bunny, and waited for Santa Claus. How marshmallows were fried and slept in tents. As they first fell out of a bicycle, and my mother smeared the broken knees with green, and my father blew so as not to burn.
Yes, children sometimes want to look no worse than classmates, boast of fashionable phones and trips to Egypt. But if you indulge all the whims, the child will grow up spoiled and unprepared for real life, where you want to earn what you want with hard work, and not ask your dad and mom.
Socialization
You can not lock the child in four walls. Communicating with peers or older children, he learns the rules of conduct in a team. Develops communication skills that will be useful to him in later life. Gradually relieves shyness and makes friends.
It is not necessary to give the child to kindergarten, because there are playgrounds and other mothers who are happy to go for a joint walk. You can organize holidays and invite your baby's friends, take him to sections and development centers.
The child will join the society, where he will be in contact with good and bad people. They explain to a child from 3-4 years old that you must not be silent or just stand and cry while he is being offended. It is better to repulse the hooligans or too arrogant persons who select his toys. At the same time, the child is explained that offending weak children and animals is very bad. They need protection and care. They share toys and sweets with them, help build sandcastles and solve math.
Active children easily find a common language with strangers. So that trouble does not happen with the baby, the mother talks about evil uncles and aunts. They trick the kids, and then they hurt them. Smart guys never take toys and sweets from strangers, but always run away home or call other adults if the bad guys try to take them somewhere.
Preventive conversations will protect the baby’s life and teach him to be careful, because the mother will not be able to constantly watch him and protect him from everything in the world.
Little adults
Children are smart and quickly learn new information. They can be serious and reasonable, they can plan and dream. With a child you need to talk like an adult. To be interested in opinion, to discuss family problems. To teach the baby to be responsible for his own actions. If he wanted a dog, and his parents gave him a puppy, then the young owner must walk and feed the animal, bathe and clean up after the pet. Does the child need a phone? Let them collect money presented for their birthday and other holidays, put aside and plan their budget, looking for part-time jobs.
At the same time, parents cannot forbid their children to do anything using the argument: "You are still small." A child is equated either with an adult and smart member of the family, or with a stupid and non-independent, but also acts accordingly.
No criticism
Some children reveal their potential under a hail of criticism and criticism, but such units. The rest just make two or three attempts, and then give up the dream, because my mother considers it bad and impossible.
Real hero
Toddlers imitate parents, schoolchildren and teenagers copy only some character traits. For a child to understand what kindness and wisdom, strength of mind and striving for the best are, adults should become an example for him of all the positive qualities.
Moms and dads are encouraged to develop and never stop. Do not sit on the couch waiting for something, but move forward. Demonstrate to your children that everything is possible in the world, if you really want and work hard.
Small children look like soft clay, which in the right hands will turn into a beautiful vase. It depends on the parents what the child will become: confident and purposeful or frightened and infantile. Under the influence of mom and dad, his life priorities and character are formed. They, like all ordinary people, can make mistakes and experiment, but the main thing is to do it with love.
Video: how to raise a child
Submit