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A child is not only joy and endless happiness, but also constant work. And not so much physical, although this also takes a lot of time, how much emotional, psychological, educational. Often, young parents, fearing the cry of the baby, trying to calm him down, follow the lead and accustom the newborns to what is then quite difficult to wean from. For example, sleeping in a parent's bed. Let's try to deal with this issue today.
Where to put a newborn baby
Many doctors advise initially to teach the baby to their own bedroom, separate from mom and dad. Like, it’s more comfortable for both new parents and a small person. However, in practice this is not the case. The baby begins to be capricious, crying even in a comfortable cradle, not like in a huge crib for him, and most often the mother, giving way to his cries, takes the baby to her. Now let's look at this situation from all sides.
First, we analyze the behavior of parents. Of course, a small child is very difficult, it is a big load and a sharp change in lifestyle. But there is one more point: only the internal structure of the family is changing, but at the external level everything remains as before. Father also needs to go to work, mothers need to work around the household, even despite chronic lack of sleep. As soon as parents notice that the baby sleeps better with them and the nights go much more calmly, they decide not to put the child in a separate bed. At some point, perhaps this is correct.
Now let's look from the side of the child. Although small, he is already a man. And, contrary to popular belief, lives not only by instincts, but also by reason. Many psychologists believe that the smaller the child, the more skillfully he knows how to manipulate his parents. This is understandable: the baby needs to survive. His knowledge is still very small, but at the same time he also wants maximum comfort, like any adult. Sleeping next to mom, near a warm chest, from which you can always get food - excellent! Therefore, the reaction when the baby is placed in a separate bed is understandable: he will start screaming, thereby expressing his displeasure. And that's it, parents will take the baby back. The goal is achieved, the conclusion is made: it is necessary to shout, and everything will work out.
The cry of a small child does not only come from physical discomfort, hunger or pain. This is also an attempt to express their dissatisfaction, one of the minimum means of social communication available to the newborn. And often parents, not realizing this, follow their lead, thereby developing whimsical behavior from the diaper of a child.
What then to do? Ignore the scream? Well, let's figure it out.
We teach the baby to sleep in his crib correctly
In fact, there is nothing wrong with the fact that a newborn is sleeping with parents, but only in those cases if:
- This helps the whole family get a good night's sleep;
- It is comfortable not only for the child, but also for parents;
- This does not interfere with the intimate life of a young couple;
- This is really necessary, not a whim.
The fact is that many newly minted mothers completely surrender to their baby, forgetting that there is also a dad in the family, and he also needs attention. Such self-sacrifice in favor of a newborn is wrong, it can destroy relationships. Following this feeling, many mothers take the child to bed, even if he does not need it. After all, not all children prefer to sleep with their parents.There are some kids who are quite comfortable in their own bed. But it seems to mother that this is not so, the baby is alone in its cradle, and she takes her son or daughter to bed. And then he does not know how to wean it. Therefore, rule number one - be guided by common sense. Do not take the child to an adult bed if he does not need it.
But what if everything had already happened, and now the need arose for weaning? How to do it right and not injure the psyche of a small person? In fact, everything is not so complicated.
The first moment: when to wean
While the child is small, usually being in the parent's bed does not cause any severe discomfort. And the need to accustom to their own crib does not arise. But the child has grown up, and such a question has arisen. As a rule, this happens closer to three years, when an understanding begins to form in a growing person and thinking matures. But in general, navigate your own child. Many babies are already about a year and a half ready to leave the parent's bed on their own. You just need to understand that this moment has arrived.
Great if you have older children. Then the bed of a grown up baby who is already weaned and has learned to sleep all night can be transferred to the nursery. Together, the children sleep very well, and for the smallest member of the family there will be no problem getting used to sleeping with sisters or brothers. You can even beat this transition by the fact that your baby has already become so big that she can also sleep in her crib, like older children. In such cases, as a rule, there are no special problems with accustoming to rest separate from parents.
It is more difficult if the baby is the only one in the family, and he really has to leave his parents and learn how to sleep alone. This, of course, is more traumatic for a child who is already used to spending the night with his mom and dad. Another tip: start weaning only after the baby is completely weaned. First, teach him to sleep all night, without requiring either a nipple or food. And only then transfer to a separate bed.
The second moment: tricks and tricks
Of course, if you just say: “Everything, from this day you are already big and you can sleep alone” and put your son or daughter in his own bed, nothing good will come of such an approach. At a minimum, outrage is guaranteed. At most - hysteria and a complete rejection of a separate dream for a long time. Here you need to act cunningly, subtly and at the same time persistently.
Here are some basic tricks to help you go through this difficult stage as quickly as possible and with the least loss:
- Do not immediately shift to a separate crib. Now on the market there are many models in which one side wall is removed. Remove it, put the bed close to your bedroom place. In this case, the baby’s bed will become a continuation of your bed, but at the same time it will already be in a separate bed. Gradually, you can increase the distance and put on the removed wall.
- Communication is a very important part of the process. Explain to your child that he is already big enough to start sleeping separately. Moreover, carry out preparatory work in several stages. First, just tell your son or daughter that only very young children sleep with their mothers, and large ones should rest in their own crib. Remember that talking about adulthood bribes any child. You can start to look for a future sleeping place with him. Describe the benefits of a separate dream. The next stage is the purchase of a new crib and a practical assessment of all its advantages. Write to the kid how cool it is to relax in such a cool place! Choose beautiful linen, comfortably put a new bed, beautifully design it. Talking will greatly help in this matter.
- Use rituals and special items.Children are very susceptible to constantly repeating activities. Develop your own, special custom of going to bed. For example, a compulsory reading of a bedtime story and a kiss after it. For the first time, you can turn on the night light in the room with soft light. Firstly, it makes the room more comfortable. Secondly, the child will not be scared and uncomfortable. Thirdly, if the baby needs to get up at night, for example, on the potty, he will have lighting and will not have to call you.
To teach a child to sleep in a separate bed is not so difficult a task as it seems at first glance. You just need to understand and feel your baby, as well as show a little ingenuity in order to turn the process into a fun and exciting action. Rely on your own parental instinct, ingenuity, knowledge and confidential communication, and then you will surely succeed! And how pleasant it will be that at last you can sleep together without fear of waking the child. And, believe me, a baby in his own bed will also be much more comfortable and calmer!
Video: how to teach a child to sleep in his crib
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