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Family relationships in almost every couple at first are perfect. As domestic problems increase, woman's dissatisfaction grows. Some of them silently swallow grudges, but there is a category of wives who do not see a solution to the problem other than treason, which again is not the best option. Here the question arises for the husband - forgive? Or maybe a divorce is easier? Do not hurry. Your family has already been created, and it is easiest to destroy it, and it is sometimes impossible to restore it.
Why did the wife change?
According to statistics, female adultery happens less often than male adultery, since the very nature of a woman has the potential of a wife, mother, mistress, and the family is very important for her. If betrayal has occurred, then there is a problem in family relationships. Having learned about this, call your wife for a frank conversation. You should not arrange scandals and showdowns, especially if you start with threats of physical harm. Try to figure out what caused the fraud and whether it is possible to glue a cracked relationship, because the consequences of what happened without finding out the reasons will lead to a dead end. Of course, any of the reasons does not justify the act of the wife, but they can be quite serious and will prompt a way out.
- Cheating on a wife can be a reaction to a husband’s similar behavior. When the husband shows increased attention to other representatives of the fairer sex and even maintains a closer relationship, the second half tries to take revenge in the same way. In some cases, a woman, having changed several times, calms down, and family life goes on as before.
- Not enough attention from her husband. In many families, women work on a par with men, and at home they are expected to do household chores and lack of help from a spouse. Treason in this case is a way to find mutual understanding on the side.
- The dissatisfaction of women in sexual relations. If there was a betrayal on her part, a man should analyze his wife's behavior during sex and his abilities in this regard. Maybe this is the problem that prompted the spouse to experience pleasure with another partner.
- The wife fell in love with another man. This is perhaps the most serious reason. In this situation, there is the greatest risk of family breakdown.
Do I need to forgive my wife’s deceit
Your first thought - you can forgive the betrayal, regardless of the reason. Only after finding out what pushed the beloved woman to such a step, you can decide whether there is a chance to save the family or whether it is better to disperse as quickly as possible. Not every cheated lady repents of her adventure or hobby. The situation is much easier to resolve if you hear words of regret about what happened, otherwise you have to leave or continue to live together, accepting it.
The first thing that guides you is anger, violent emotions, thoughts of deceit and humiliation. Pull yourself together, cool down, think over everything that happened and possible consequences.
Do not try to find out juicy details through interrogation - this will only increase your negativity. Initially, your goal is to understand what that man means to her. Perhaps this was a one-time hobby or their relationship is developing at the moment.
Judging by the experience of many couples who have experienced a similar drama, it is recommended to leave for a while. This will allow each of you to calmly weigh everything, draw conclusions and make a final decision. And to you personally, not seeing your unfaithful wife, it will be easier to understand whether to end this relationship or still forgive.
If the decision is in favor of your family, the next task is to forget what happened and make an effort to strengthen the family union.
How to restore family relationships
To return to the old relationship or even improve, which many families manage, it is possible with mutual desire. Try following some guidelines:
- pay attention to your appearance, all women like it;
- devote as much time as possible to the spouse, her life, interests;
- remember the first acquaintance, often repeat the romantic moments of the first meetings;
- do not forget about flowers, compliments, nice words;
- discuss sexual relationships, listening to your wife’s wishes.
The result of building new relationships in the old family depends, first of all, on whether you forgive your woman permanently or the thought of treason will constantly haunt. But it’s worth trying to fight. Suppress emotions, resentment and take action. Hasty decisions in this situation will only aggravate the situation irrevocably.
Psychologist's advice
Psychologists believe that there can be no classic advice in this situation. Each case is individual, as is the person himself.
Understand what was the reason for seeking the comfort of your wife in the arms of another man. If you can’t understand, then you can’t forgive.
If the betrayal was a short hobby or easy flirting, the wife admits the frivolity of her act, forgive is already worth it. And you analyze how it turned out that it was not you who were next, but a stranger.
When a woman’s betrayal is associated with love for another man, it’s almost impossible to forgive, because self-esteem is impaired, and the very idea of betrayal is present inside you, poisoning your existence. It is necessary to forgive, because when you love you forgive everything. And in this case, it makes no sense to hold on to your beloved woman who loves another. Let go and wish you happiness. Your family life has no future.
When it turns out that the betrayal did not happen for the first time, each new hobby of the wife ends with a short affair, and then, returning to you, she asks for forgiveness - it is better to leave. Even the power of your love cannot change your beloved.
There is one more important factor influencing the decision of the husband - these are common children. You can’t make a decision regarding your deceived wife, put yourself in their place, imagine how they will perceive your divorce. Perhaps you should forgive your spouse for them. Give her and yourself a chance to acquire new happiness together.
It is up to you to decide whether to forgive the beloved woman's betrayal, but remember, if you do not want a recurrence of past events, leave everything in the past and do not recall under any circumstances.
Video: how to forgive the betrayal of a loved one
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