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Unrequited love is a problem that is familiar to both men and women of all ages. You can be divinely beautiful, brilliant and rich, but even high status will not save from this feeling. It burns from the inside, interferes with work and sleep. Turns life into a nightmare from which there is no salvation. Psychologists strongly advise not to close oneself in one’s inner world, engaged in self-destruction, but to fight unrequited love with all available methods.
No memories - no man
You’ll have to gather your will into a fist and throw things associated with the cause of suffering out of your apartment. Send in the trash a cup from which he drank coffee in the morning, burn a T-shirt, and not turn it into a rag for mopping. Delete the number from the phone book, move the joint photos to the basket.
Do not watch movies that were laughed at or cried together. Do not listen to music associated with the first dance, kiss or declaration of love. The man is gone, so the memories should go after him.
Tip: If love is dead, it’s foolish to live with the illusions of its resurrection, or try to evoke the spirit of the past. If mutual feelings have never existed, do not tease yourself with vain hopes.
Do not call me
The hand constantly reaches for the computer to access its page on social networks. There, next to the former lover, a new passion flaunts, which throws the songs on the wall and leaves comments with hearts and kisses. A half-hour hysteria is guaranteed, plus a protracted depression that threatens to develop into alcoholism.
Stop doing masochism! Time to leave a person alone, and allow yourself to gradually return to normal life. It will hurt to start from scratch, but it's worth it. It is necessary to remove it from friends in all social networks, and even better to take courage, and destroy your pages. Do not regret a bunch of photos, a selection of music and other trifles that do not mean anything.
Do not call after an extra cocktail to a person who has never loved, or suddenly ceased to have tender feelings. Do not write messages, and, most importantly, never leave sad posts, depressing images on social networks, or, conversely, try to show how good it became after he left.
Tip: You need to live for yourself, and not in order to prove something to the former. If a person has never loved, or suddenly cooled, he is not to blame. You need to forgive him for your own happiness, and not try to forcefully take a place next to him.
Healthy selfishness
Moms love to repeat to little girls with enviable regularity: “Darling, you cannot take care of yourself exclusively. You need to think about others. You don’t want to become a selfish person? ” Girls grow up, and, following parental advice, devote themselves entirely to their lover, or stubbornly seek an object for worship. And losing, they feel bewildered, broken, and suffer from unrequited love.
In fact, healthy egoism is good. Perfectly. The only person on the planet who deserves faithful and all-consuming love is ourselves. You need to realize this truth, and allow yourself not to be sad about lost illusions that could never come true.
How to forget a man who does not love? Get rid of tender feelings for him? Find a new object for worship - yourself. Take care of your own body. Give yourself beautiful clothes and healthy food. Praise for big and small achievements.
Important: To be an egoist is not scary and not bad, it is much worse to turn into a depressive person without the right to a happy relationship in the near or distant future.
No time to be bored
The second halves take up a lot of time that can be spent on self-development, career advancement or studying your own inner world. When a person decides to forget his beloved, he needs to turn his attention to something more interesting:
- Enroll in courses in Spanish or Latin that I always wanted to learn.
- Try yourself as an artist or musician, learn to play drums or guitar.
- Go karate to spill pain and aggression on a training punching bag.
- You can even open your own business, the development of which will take strength and energy so that the brain has no time to think about the former lover.
Tip: Someone helps creativity or a change of scenery, others prefer to become volunteers or careerists. You need to find a profession or hobby that is addictive, and gives a lot of positive emotions.
Seize the opportunity
Closing in his own pain and suffering, a person pushes people around, tries to avoid communication, is afraid to build relationships. No need to listen to tips suggesting knocking out an old wedge with a new one. Usually such attempts do not lead to anything good. On the other hand, for emotional relaxation it’s useful to go out in people:
- Spend an evening with old friends.
- Agree to meet a handsome stranger who is invited to a cafe.
- Chat with parents, visit grandparents.
- Buy tickets to the theater, or to a concert of your favorite band.
- Flirt with someone on chat or social networks.
Being in constant motion, you can gradually get rid of the gnawing feeling of loneliness and resentment. Of course, one does not have to force oneself through strength to have fun in a nightclub, or to angry marry a childhood friend. But it’s useful to at least try to leave a cozy mink, and communicate with living people, and not with an insulted and depressing inner voice.
Tip: Some people, desperate to get rid of thoughts about their lover, begin to visit nightclubs to fill their grief with alcohol, and have sex with a stranger in a public toilet. Alcohol abuse and promiscuous sexual intercourse will not save you from pain, but can cause serious health problems and moral devastation.
Emergency release
In psychology, there is an interesting method that helps get rid of unrequited love in a matter of days, a maximum of weeks. You need a notebook or notepad, an ordinary pen, plus some free time.
- It is necessary to be frank and honest with oneself, not to hide feelings, not to be afraid of fantasies.
- Write what emotions a former lover evokes, and why. You can not limit yourself to two lines, at least 3-4 sheets in great detail. You can create a kind of dialogue on behalf of a logical mind and a loving heart.
- Having finished the conversation, put the notebook in a box for a couple of days.
- Get it and write on a blank sheet what features should be in the ideal soulmate. For example, he has blue eyes, and he definitely hates spinach.
- Describe in detail the flaws of the person who abandoned or did not want to be around. Recall everything: from a hump on the nose and a terrible pimple on the forehead to stinginess and callousness, unwillingness to work, or the bad habit of scattering socks around the apartment.
- Turn on the logic, and ask yourself: “Why should I constantly clean dirty cowards for someone and close my eyes during sex so as not to notice this disgusting pimple? Maybe you should thank him for leaving, and gave him the opportunity to find real happiness? ”
Tip: Bad habits and flaws in character do not disappear with time, but only worsen.If yesterday he did not want to give flowers, because it was too expensive, after a few years he would spare money for the treatment of his lover.
Psychologists offer to imagine what will have to be sacrificed for such a relationship, and what can be achieved by getting rid of this burden. In 9 cases out of 10, a few workouts are enough to realize: everything happened for the better, and there is no need to smear snot on the face.
Rituals and no magic
You can come up with your own ritual of getting rid of the past: burn things in a trash can, write a stack of letters, and drown them in the river. Arrange an improvised Sabbath with friends with alcohol, dancing and spells of their own production. The main thing is that the brain must understand that after certain manipulations, you will have to throw out the old trash from your head and make room for a new life.
Shaking off the power of a person who does not love you is much easier than some people who are prone to masochism think. You need to understand that sometimes feelings fade away, and there is nothing else to do but devote free time to your own person, and gradually learn to enjoy the little things. A woman who has got rid of old love gets the right to a new, lasting and happy relationship, but this is a completely different story.
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