How to respond to rudeness: advice from a psychologist

Each parent invests a maximum of useful qualities in raising children. The younger generation is taught to be polite, friendly, and respect the elders. Later, when a person passes into adulthood, he already develops certain thinking and habits. But, unfortunately, not everyone has positive qualities, as they say, by nature.

Why are people rude

1. Lack of love is the most important factor. When a person does not receive enough attention in childhood, care, love from his parents, he grows estranged and evil. This behavior manifests itself in the desire to stand out, the individual is trying to be noticed. Lack of attention encourages a person to engage in verbal skirmishes for every opportunity, to be rude, to disrespect people older than themselves. All this comes from childhood. With improper upbringing and lack of love, the child is very capricious for his parents to finally give him a portion of their “precious” time. This behavior goes into adulthood. Consciousness automatically remembers the method of manipulation, as the only option to attract attention.
2. Self-affirmation is another criterion that defines a rude person. Such a scenario is observed only in cases where an individual is rude to his opponent, who is inferior to him in some ways (in strength, material well-being, etc.). That is, it turns out that the strong offends the weak and due to this is affirmed. Most often, people who are endowed with power or those who have average weight in a certain circle of communication behave this way.
3. Inability to argue one’s position is the third aspect that affects human behavior in society. Often when a verbal skirmish or discussion begins, one who has nothing more to say is resorted to rudeness. Modern society calls this behavior "transition to the individual." A man is trying to offend his interlocutor by indicating flaws in the appearance of the latter, his material security, and family plan. When an individual has no reason, he goes over to blatant rudeness.
4. Fatigue is a commonplace factor that determines the interpersonal behavior of a person and his attitude to others. Frequent exposure to stress, constant lack of sleep, poor relationships with relatives and many other aspects can involuntarily provoke an individual to rudeness at the most inopportune moment. Every modern person faces this, even with a “boa constrictor” exposure and a stable psyche.

How to respond to rudeness: tips for drivers

1. Save your time. If you find yourself in a situation in which another participant in the movement begins to be rude, do not waste your time and health on him. Drivers who can’t part on a narrow roadway and stand hood to hood are reminiscent of two rams. In such a situation, act wisely, miss the fool, because he is “on fire”. Reassure yourself that you are perfectly in reverse, and he is not capable of anything except to move in a straight line. At the same time, smile at the boor, ensuring yourself calm for the whole day.
2. Take a break from the road. If you are often forced to travel around the city by car by occupation, set aside time to rest. It is not necessary to stop on the sidelines in the city and sleep. Enough rest, do a warm-up for the whole body and eyes.Psychologists give such recommendations because often the driver himself provokes rudeness of other participants in the movement. If you start to slow down on the road, others will beep and wave. You should resort to warm-up and rest when all the drivers around are perceived as impatient riders.
3. Learn to behave in uncontrollable situations. Some drivers, especially young ones, lack tact and restraint on public roads. If you were unable to avoid a skirmish with the boor, do not try to speak normal language with him. First, close the doors and windows of the car, point the DVR at the offender. In this way, you will record unlawful actions on the part of another person. No need to conduct small talk and try to prove something to the insolent. Often such rants end in a fight. Try to leave the scene or call the police with the second driver’s registration plate.
4. Be careful while driving. We give an example to make it easier to understand what is at stake. You are the first to stand at the traffic light, gape, distracted, a green signal lights up. Rear-facing drivers begin to beep continuously to make you move. The situation seems simple, but it causes a lot of irritation. No need to honk and wave your hands in response. Get away and blink the drivers with the emergency gang, apologizing for your mistake. To deal with rudeness on the road, you must not be the culprit of this rudeness. At the same time, if you caught the driver standing by surprise, do not signal him that there is urine. Blink the high beam, urging you to start moving.
5. Relieve stress from driving. Every modern person at least once in his life faced rudeness on the road. After a hard day and the attacks of other drivers, the individual feels morally exhausted, like a squeezed lemon. Psychologists give their advice on this subject. They recommend calling relatives and complaining banally in order to relieve stress and call the boor with all possible words. Believe me, it will become easier for you.

How to deal with rudeness in the store

1. Appeal to the leadership. If you regularly encounter the rudeness of store employees, it makes no sense to waste your nerves on the proceedings directly. Ask for a complaint book, state the situation. Then refer to the higher management with a request to hold the boor responsible. If the authorities do not agree to this, write a complaint to the prosecutor in order to send an audit to the indicated pavilion. Never leave rudeness unpunished.
2. Get universal phrases. If you are not one of those who will bother with complaints and prosecutors, do otherwise. When you hear another rudeness from the store employees, give him facts that are difficult to challenge. For example, start talking about the reproduction of octopuses or remember the history of Spain. It doesn't matter what exactly you say. The main thing is to do it with a smart look and reason philosophically. Try to get the seller into a stupor so that he feels stupid and becomes silent.

How to respond to rudeness of the chief

1. If your boss belongs to powerful people, never misses the opportunity to be rude, memorize mechanical phrases. Answer him automatically: “Yes, you are right,” “I agree with your opinion,” “Well, I’ll do it.”
2. When management constantly screams, admit to being lost from screaming. Try to talk with your boss normally so that he does not take your words for malice.
3. Let your boss know that his opinion is important to you. Ask not to shout and offer to discuss the situation in a relaxed atmosphere. Openness to dialogue will unsettle any boor.
4. Some make the mistake of starting to make excuses to superiors. This is useless. You were told to do, do it. Do not behave like a small child.
5. Do not be rude in return if you do not want to be dismissed from your post. It is extremely easy to get involved in a scandal when everything is tired and there is no more strength to work. This recommendation does not apply to colleagues, do not let them humiliate themselves.
6. Many experienced leaders perceive the silence of subordinates as an ignore. Therefore, always look for words to express yourself correctly. Do not be silent like a fish; if necessary, defend your opinion reasonably.
7. In order not to provoke even greater rudeness on the part of the chef, let him speak out. Wrap on a mustache all that the head will say. Do not interrupt, answer only after completion of the monologue of the authorities.

How to respond to the rudeness of colleagues at work

1. Know how to present yourself correctly. If you have just entered a new team, try to seem like a friendly person. At the same time, make it clear that you should not be offended. Always express yourself clearly and clearly so as not to look like a “rag”.
2. Never show your insecurity to strangers. Those who are close to you, but not your colleagues, may know this trait of yours. Believe in yourself and do not let the boors hurt your vanity. Always smile in response to rudeness, express yourself monotonously, but loudly.
3. At work, remember the social significance. If your colleague is higher in rank, do not get friends with him. When the line between the boss and a friend is overcome, the manager will begin to be rude to you more often than others (due to friendship).
4. Show yourself as a true professional in the field in which you work. Do not openly show incompetence. Beginners always get all the shisha, they are rude, they are torn off. Do not prove yourself as such, be a professional.
5. Do not be a black sheep. This rule is suitable for life, but in a work environment it is better to merge with the crowd and not cause negative emotions. Respect the values ​​of the team so that they come to your rescue at the time of a collision with the boor.

How to respond to rudeness on the Internet

1. Modern people cannot imagine their life without a global network. Often, leaving comments on social networks and blogs, you can meet with rudeness. People often provoke each other to aggression. From here begins a verbal skirmish. Unfortunately, not everyone is able to respond to rudeness.
2. Often people sit on forums, during correspondence, a quarrel of a different nature begins. Hence unnatural interest arises, who will turn out to be right in the end. Throughout the day, you can repeatedly check messages and scroll through the head of further developments. You are thinking about how to respond to rudeness and defend your point of view.
3. In this case, you should not be upset and cheat yourself, at least this is not right. Your experiences are not interesting to anyone and are directed to the void. It is worth considering carefully that overly aggressive people are not entirely healthy. They cannot throw out their anger anywhere but the Internet. Think that such personalities are void.
4. Therefore, one should not react sharply to rudeness under posts and on forums. A self-sufficient and adequate person can make a remark to you and explain what you are wrong about, he will not show aggression. In this case, you can continue the dialogue and find out who is behind the truth. Do not respond with aggression to rudeness, as a rule, such meaningless conversations do not end there.
5. There is a way out when dealing with inappropriate people. It is recommended to conduct a dialogue with them, as with young children. Respond to all rude phrases with calm and sarcasm. Do not strain and do not worry even more. All worthless threats will remain on the Internet. Do not waste your nerves on rudeness and empty remarks.
6. In another case, if the skirmish began between you and your friend, it is better not to continue the dialogue and meet in real life. Discuss face-to-face problems without public humiliation.Often people who suppress aggression in the real world often splash it out in the form of rudeness on the Internet. In this case, take care of your nerves, this is not your concern.

Actions on rudeness from strangers

Show pity

1. If you cannot calmly respond to harsh words and offensive phrases, show compassion and take pity on the loser. His actions indicate that in the soul the boor is unhappy. Most likely, he has problems or simply useless life.
2. In this case, aggressive people try to compensate for the lack of attention with aggression and rudeness. Treat such a person with compassion. Understand that he is weak, then the reaction will change radically. The main thing is not to make excuses.

Joke in response and load philosophy

1. In response to rudeness, try to throw out a smart and complex phrase. Directly ask the boor a rhetorical question that is difficult to understand. Aggressive loser will not understand what they want from him, and abandon the dialogue.
2. Try to answer rude phrases with a subtle joke with meaning. In such a situation, the offender will lose. If you can’t joke about the topic, it’s worth showing sympathy. Keep to simple phrases and do not take sharp words to heart.

Answer rudely

1. This method is not entirely correct. To resort to it or not is your own business. It may turn out differently than you intended. It is not entirely correct to answer rudeness to rudeness. Usually a similar method first comes to mind.
2. If you decide to be rude in response, it is important to understand that you are going down to the level of a loser who is rude to you.
3. Thus, you lose self-esteem. If you often resort to such a method, soon you yourself will turn into a boor.

Become a critic

1. It is important to understand that criticism and rudeness are completely different things. In the first option, you can conduct a relatively calm dialogue and defend your point of view. In the case of rudeness, one should not respond at all to such a person.
2. Unjustified aggression is not worth your nerves and attention. Typically, this behavior is not directed specifically at you, but at other participants in the dialogue or unauthorized persons. You should respond to rudeness with a sense of dignity, do not stoop to such a level.

To not pay attention

1. For your peace of mind, you can completely ignore an aggressive person. As a result of such actions, the boor will soon lose interest in you. A person will look for a new object for a skirmish.
2. Aggressive people who provoke such a dialogue are always waiting for a response. The more emotional the conversation develops, the more rudeness you will hear about yourself. In this case, do not show your resentment, this is the goal of the boor. Say that such a dialogue is not pleasant to you, no more.

You can meet with rudeness at work, in public transport, on the way home and even on the Internet. In order not to waste your nerves, it is necessary to react to rudeness correctly. Never stoop to the level of the offender, this is what he expects. Have self-esteem, do not be shy in front of the boor.

Video: how to respond to insults