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Loneliness is a wonderful thing when there are those to whom you can tell what a wonderful thing is “loneliness”. Vishnevsky in his story reflected the essence of man. Loneliness is equated with emotions with a strong edge, due to which you feel isolated from society, even being in a crowd of people. It’s hard enough to fight your own inner world when all habits are firmly rooted. However, experienced psychologists advise you to work on yourself daily, otherwise you risk forever becoming an outcast.
Accept loneliness
- Before talking about any psychological aspects, it is necessary to come to a clear understanding that you are really alone. It is difficult for many people to admit this fact, even when they are alone with themselves. If you belong to this category of persons, changing the foundations will not work.
- After the realization of complete loneliness has come, this feeling must be expressed in words or actions. An excellent option is a diary in which all thoughts will be reflected as sincerely as possible. You can also come up with a friend with whom you will conduct a lively conversation through regular letters in an envelope.
- If you are a creative person, draw a picture or embroider it with a cross. The main thing is that the essence of loneliness should be conveyed in full (visual aid). An alternative is writing music or playing the piano, as a result of which negative emotions find a way out.
- Following how loneliness is expressed on paper, you will discover new facets. This includes sadness, longing, disappointment, anger. All these emotions are closely related to the root of the problem, so you need to solve it from afar. You will not be able to rush right off the bat, leading an active social life and feeling excellent at the same time.
- At this stage, you need to feel and forever understand the difference between solitude and loneliness. In the first case, you enjoy the inner state and the surrounding silence when you are alone with your own "I". In the second, loneliness brings pain, you suffer, need communication, a big company or an individual.
- The loneliness does not include the state when, for certain reasons, you are isolated, but have not lost your desire for social communication. Even if you are away from the “soulmate” environment, people will soon come into contact with you.
How to overcome loneliness
After accepting loneliness as an integral part of yourself, you must begin a full-scale operation. You probably found out the true reason for this behavior, and you will have to work with it.
Step number 1. Live real
- If you are haunted by events that happened earlier, stop. Start repeating: “I will not think about the past, I need to build my present!”.
- Try to shift the focus to what is happening now. Agree, it is difficult to return to your studies at the institute and again participate in KVN.
- You also will not be able to return those whom heaven has taken. Nobody makes you forget the bad, but you need to live here and now. Learn to find happiness in everyday things, something global is made up of little things.
Step number 2. Take the lead in communication
- It's time to get out of the shell and establish social relations. Without interpersonal communication, it is quite difficult to exist in modern society. The Internet will never replace face-to-face conversations.
- Do not wait until you are invited to a party, take the initiative. Call school friends, friends from the institute or colleagues, invite them to bowling (billiards, cinema).
- Begin to slowly get closer to people, give them your support, and make small requests. Invite your interlocutor to the cafe, chat about pressing things (a topic that is interesting to both).
- It is important to understand that true friendship does not start in 1 day. If you want to see a person in your life, establish communication. Let your opponent know that you are interested in his community.
Step number 3. Engage in self-development
- If you stand still, others, stepping forward, leave you behind. It is always interesting to communicate with a comprehensively developed person. For this reason, you need to invest in yourself, in your own potential.
- Sign up for a language school or learn 20 foreign words a day. Start reading books, absolutely any literature (interesting to you) is suitable. Master one or several musical instruments, sign up for dancing. Wood carving, rock climbing, and kayaking are suitable for single men.
- A gym is considered an excellent option for self-development. Make a bet with relatives or friends that you pump up the press / pectoral muscles / buttocks for six months. Find a personal trainer or get a subscription, start training.
- Broaden your horizons by any convenient means. Travel, it will move you to new achievements. Strive for heights in your career, get away from boring work, try to live to the maximum of many-sided.
- Keep positive in any situation, especially when dealing with unfamiliar people. No need to complain about family or soul mate, do not talk about pressing problems. No one is interested in the complexity of another person, do not be a bore.
Step number 4. Enjoy the privacy
- As mentioned earlier, the concepts of “loneliness” and “solitude” vary significantly. Try to enjoy the time spent alone with your own "I".
- Do not pinch yourself in a framework, get rid of "claustrophobia" that appears at the time of solitude. If you learn to get along with yourself, time will pass much faster. You will cease to depend on society, because you will become, to some extent, a free person.
- In cases where solitude is a burden, a person begins to behave obsessively with other people. Regular jogging / walking, cycling with music in your ears, swimming in salty and fresh springs will help you smooth out the corners.
- Find a collection of books (from the trilogy and above), start reading them one by one. Thus, you will kill two birds with one stone, as you will begin to enjoy solitude and self-development at the same time.
- Four-legged friends need the love and care of the owner. They can wait all day for him from work, each time rejoicing, as for the first time. Also, animals "treat" wounded souls, relieve of loneliness, bring colors to human life.
- Visit the shelters of your city, take in the care of a dog or cat (preferably at an early age). The pet will be grateful to you until the end of his life, because their conditions of detention are often harsh.
- If there is no way to get a kitten / puppy, consider a parrot, ferret, in extreme cases, an aquarium with fish. Give your new friend all the love and care that you have. Approach this step responsibly.
- It is important to understand that an animal is not a toy. The pet must be looked after, vaccinated, taken care of. If you have the power to provide proper care, you can say goodbye to loneliness forever.
Step number 6. Do business
- When a person lounges, he has a lot of free time. From here come obsessive thoughts, self-doubt, tightness. The condition is reinforced by the fact that everyone else (friends, relatives) are at work. You cannot call them to "chat", so you feel lonely.
- Do not mess around, hammer the day to the eyeballs.If there is a free minute, do household chores, visit the gym, take a walk in the park. Find a hobby that will take away all your free time. It is advisable that you leave your home in the morning and return only in the evening. Such a move will eradicate loneliness at the root.
- Look for something to your liking, develop in one area, strive for more every day. In various interest sections you will meet interesting and developed people. Perhaps many of them will become your friends without knowing it.
Step number 7. Do not get involved in social networking
- The modern world leaves its mark on society. More and more people prefer social networking over face-to-face conversations. Do not be like them, the Internet will never replace lively human conversation.
- Of course, communication on the World Wide Web has a place to be, but only in limited quantities. Use VKontakte or Odnoklassniki to meet new people and later invite them to a meeting.
- Join interest groups, arrange gatherings in cafes or walks in the park. Use the forum as a “filter” to select people by occupation, age, etc.
- Before each new acquaintance, study the information about your opponent. Do not drag out the conversation for a month or more, try to make an appointment faster. Girls should be careful not to get into the "network" of malevolent men.
- Call old buddies. Instead of the standard phrase “Let's join VK!”, Answer: “Can we go to the pizzeria in the evening?”. So you brighten up loneliness, most importantly, do not stop there.
Step number 8. Go in for sports
- Physical activity lifts the mood, and a beautiful relief body - self-esteem. Sign up for a gym or aerobic gym, visit a sports nutrition store, become an ardent supporter of a healthy lifestyle.
- Mixed martial arts, boxing / kickboxing, karate, swimming, dancing, yoga, etc. are considered to be an excellent sport option. In the gym you will find people of interest who can have a good time with.
- It is no secret that a slender toned body enhances self-esteem. You will be easier to undress on the beach, because get rid of the complexes. The main thing is to develop in this area. No need to mindlessly pedal on an exercise bike, make a program and follow it.
- An alternative to the gym is jogging or walking in the park, ice skating (snowboarding, skiing, etc.). Take the habit of climbing stairs, not the elevator. If distance allows, go to work on foot.
Some people find it difficult to cope with loneliness. When trying to correct the situation, they fall into a prolonged depression. If you consider yourself in this category of persons, consult a psychologist. The specialist will select the treatment according to the psycho-emotional background of the patient, as a result of which you will achieve the result much faster.
Video: how to defeat loneliness and boredom
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