How to calm a child during hysterics: tips for parents

Every mother sooner or later faces the first hysteria of her child. The reasons for this behavior of the baby can be a great many. It can be feeling unwell or just being manipulated by parents. But it is important not only to find out the cause of the tantrum, but also to be able to reassure the child.

Causes of Tantrum

The child’s tears and uncontrolled behavior are often explained by the formation of personality and the inability of parents to communicate with him. The personal interests of the baby clash with the desires of adults, and he tries to achieve his goal with the help of hysteria. Infants, for example, try to achieve the desired cry. Growing up, they continue to do the same, because they still do not know how to do it in a different way.

Often children copy adult behavior and simply repeat what they see in the family. But to reassure the child and prevent the transformation of hysteria into a habit is possible only if you find out the real reason for this condition. Hysteria in children provokes:

• inability to express their protest or dissatisfaction;
• lack of attention from adults;
• desire to receive what was denied;
• lack of sleep, feeling unwell, etc .;
• excessive strictness and custody of parents;
• mistakes in education;
• weak nervous system of the child;
• lack of an established system of rewards and punishments;
• separation from your favorite activities.

Hysteria in a child often confuses parents. They do not know how to behave and thus provoke more serious attacks. After all, it depends on the attitude of adults how much time the child will use this method in his interests. The main thing that parents should remember is that you cannot react violently to such behavior. Then there is the possibility that the tantrums will stop. But this, of course, is not enough.

Hysteria or whim

It is important for parents to find out before starting to think through their own line of behavior. The difference between these two concepts is small, but it is still there. Everything is quite simple - a child is not able to control his emotions during a tantrum, while a whim is a deliberate behavior. If the baby is capricious, that means he wants to get something and most often this “something” is impossible at the moment. For example, the desire to walk when it rains, the demand for toys that parents cannot afford, etc.

Tantrums often arise involuntarily, while there is no control of emotions. At the same time, the child can easily harm himself by scratching his face or bumping his head against the wall. During severe hysteria, the baby may begin to cramp, in which he will bend in an arc. Such attacks are always accompanied by aggressive behavior and irritability. With increased attention of others, the condition usually worsens, in the absence of spectators it quickly stops.

Hysteria in 1.5–2 years

This condition in children after 1 year is often associated with severe nervous strain, since their psyche is not yet strong enough. In the future, such tantrums become a means of achieving the desired. At the age of 2 years, children usually already understand the meaning of such words as “no” and “not allowed”. And they begin to use it. But they are not yet able to defend their positions verbally, therefore they act with the help of their own behavior. Parents usually choose one of two methods - either satisfy the desire of the child, or scold.

At this age, children always insist on their desire, repeating the phrases “I do not want”, “I will not”, “Buy”. If the hysteria still started, you do not need to persuade the child, pull, threaten, etc.In no case do you need to leave such a baby completely alone, you must always be nearby. And of course, you can’t follow his lead. If the child realizes that tears and screams help him in getting something, the attacks will be repeated more and more often.

During a fit of tantrum, you can hug a child and talk about your love for him. But if he is desperate to break free, it is better to let him go. The main thing is that he does not begin to control adults with the help of his behavior. Suppose a baby does not want to stay with one of the adults and begins to "roll a tantrum." He must be left and gone, otherwise the tantrum will only intensify.

Attacks of tears and screams in public, children's psychologists advise just to wait out and in no case scold the baby. If he demands a toy, the parents ’refusal must be firm and decisive. Usually, such childish behavior is just a demonstration to the public, and if parents do not respond, then over time the child will get tired of such an activity.

Tantrum at 3 years old

Around this age, children begin to become aware of themselves and begin to defend their desires. Often parents, for the first time faced with the stubbornness of their crumbs, are amazed and do not know what to do. The child may begin to behave extremely inappropriately, for example, when asked to come, he runs away, etc. And of course, not without hysteria.

What about parents? Again, you can not go on about the baby, making it clear that he can get everything he wants. But it is forbidden to punish a child, since you can simply “break” his character. The ideal option is a distraction. Favorite toy, interesting cartoon and so on. These methods are good only at the beginning of the attack, but if the tantrum has reached its peak, it remains only to wait.

The behavior of parents and the baby at 3 years old should already be slightly different. It is important to understand that this little person already has the right to choose, so you should refuse direct instructions. For example, the statement “We're going for a walk!” can be replaced by the question "Are we going to the park or to the yard?" Usually, by the age of 4–5, all tantrums stop, as the child begins to express his feelings in words. But sometimes there are flaws in the upbringing of adults, so children can continue to use hysteria as a way of expressing emotions.

Hysteria in 4 years

At this age, hysterical seizures in children are possible when they are spoiled by the attention of adults. The child always gets what he wants and does not respond to the word "No." Often such behavior is provoked by the parents themselves when they cannot agree on a method of education. And it turns out that if, for example, mom forbade something, then father or grandmother can allow it. It is enough to arrange a tantrum. Therefore, adults need to determine the tactics of behavior and not contradict each other.

At home, during a child’s tantrum, you can isolate the child from all the household and let him shout without injuring younger children. The main thing is that in this room there should be nothing interesting for the child, for example, a TV or toys. And allow him to leave the room only when he calms down. Parents should be absolutely calm, and isolation should not look like a punishment.

At this age, children can already begin to explain how to behave in society. At the same time, you need to explain by your own example, since the child will not understand otherwise. It is necessary to teach him to express his emotions in words, but in no case forbid him to show them at all. You can always come up with a couple of harmless phrases that the baby can use to say that he is angry, offended or nervous. At the age of 4, the child is already quite capable of building logical chains in his mind, so it is easier to negotiate with him and look for alternative options.

In addition, many child psychologists claim that frequent attacks of hysteria at this age can be associated with diseases of the central nervous system.And if the following symptoms are observed, then the child must be shown to a neurologist:

• an increase in the number of attacks with unjustified aggression;
• the child often faints;
• trouble breathing;
• hysterical attacks last after 4–5 years;
• during hysteria, the baby often inflicts serious harm on himself and others;
• most often this condition happens at night;
• the child has frequent nightmares, mood swings, etc .;
• after a fit of hysteria, the child is sick and vomits.

Parents should always remain calm during the tantrum of the baby, that is, completely control their feelings. Any emotional manifestation on the part of adults, even negative, the child can consider his victory. Staying calm, it’s very easy to learn to control the behavior of children. In addition, the emotions of parents are much stronger than children’s and the child simply can’t stand them.

Video: how to calm a child’s tantrum