A child is offended at school - what should parents do?

School is a place where a child first begins to adapt to life in a team. The further development of the child, his desire to communicate with new people and gain new knowledge depend on how comfortable he feels there. Depending on how confident the child feels at school, his leadership qualities also depend. Sometimes it happens that a child begins to be offended, because of which he closes in himself, the desire to visit the place of education disappears. Parents should not be allowed such a state of affairs. Let’s figure out what can be done in such situations.

It’s worth mentioning right away that many children hide from their parents the fact that they are being offended. In this case, you need to look at the behavior of your child, signs may be as follows:

1. The kid, for no apparent reason, refuses to attend school.
2. On weekdays, your child is depressed, silent and closes in himself, while on the weekend he becomes joyful and active.
3. According to external signs: the child may be spoiled things, or you observe their absence (this point is controversial, because scattered children can often lose things).

Which children are the most likely victims of bullying?

Many people think that children who are usually attacked by their peers are anything different from the general mass - appearance, habits, behavior, clothing. In fact, this is not so. Any kid can get into this situation - just one wrong move, a secret that the whole class has learned, is enough.

Important: The social status of the family in no way determines bullying. It doesn’t matter how your child is dressed, whether he has new-fangled gadgets and other modern things. The same applies to features or appearance defects.

Consider which children are most often attacked:

1. Victims - such children are apathetic, confused, often doubt themselves or their abilities. They are not able to fight back on insults - naturally, classmates feel a weakness and begin to actively abuse the child.
2. Aggressors - they themselves attack the people who surround them, while they respond to provocations with an overly violent reaction.
3. Dysfunctional - if a child is dressed untidily, an unpleasant odor emanates from him, he himself is sloppy and ill-bred, it is possible that in this case he will become a victim.

If you want the baby to feel good in any team - you need to cultivate a sense of self-esteem in him, he must have an inner core.

How can parents react?

Consider how you should not behave if you find out that your baby is being attacked:

1. No need to leave him alone. Many parents do this, believing that the child will cope with the problem himself. He himself is not ready for this situation and has no idea how to solve it - therefore, your child in any case needs help and support.
2. Change your place of study. It happens that the situation needs to be resolved immediately, and there is no other way out of it - in such cases, you can try to change the situation. But here we must remember that there is no guarantee that everything will not happen again in the new school. Another point: it will be difficult for a child to get used to and adapt to new people, and this is difficult psychologically.
3. Take responsibility. Many parents prefer to completely take the solution to the problem in their own hands - this is not allowed.If you go to sort things out with the class, with teachers, this behavior can further set others up against your kid. Moreover, you should not go to an educational institution without having previously discussed your decision with the student. It is important to respect the views of your child and listen to his feelings.

How to help a child?

There are several ways to solve the problem:

1. Talk to your baby. Let him think about the question of why he was chosen, this will help determine how to get out of this situation. It is important to make it clear to the child that he is by no means innocent of being bullied.
2. If a child is attacked in only one training place, you need to find out if he needs help. Try to suggest options for solving the situation, but do not insist that he choose a specific option, let the baby have the right to choose. Naturally, the role of parents here is very large - the child’s homes should be respected, understood and accepted, he should feel safe.
3. Try to invite the student to go in for some kind of sport, or sign up for the interests section - there he will be able to make new friends, feel firmer. Passion will allow you not to focus on the situation, which means that his psyche will be minimally damaged.
4. It is important for mom and dad to help the child understand and understand what the conflict is, and also to analyze the behavior of offenders and how he behaves with them. It may be that your child himself acts as a provocateur. No need to scold him, condemn him - this will only aggravate the situation. Make it clear that he only makes himself worse, and that the baby needs to change his behavior.
5. If the reason is in appearance, you must make it clear to the child that he is not to blame for this. Explain that you love him with anyone - overweight, with scars or glasses.
6. Basically, it is violators who become the cause of the conflict. What is the reason? People who need to assert themselves because they feel uncomfortable are being bullied - it is quite possible that they are being bullied at home. Parents need to inform the child that the people who do this are actually weak, and you don’t need to be afraid of them. The only emotion that can be experienced by those who assert themselves at the expense of others is pity, because otherwise these children in life simply cannot feel comfortable.
7. Explain that the offender does not need to show tears - this will only aggravate the situation. For example, a child can fight back by saying that he offends him because he is afraid of himself. Another option is to ignore the attackers. For example, a common situation in the classroom - they pick up a notebook and start playing with it. The natural reaction, of course, is to take away property. No need to provoke the offender - you can just say that let him play, and as soon as he gets tired - he can give a notebook. In this case, the whole point of such mockery disappears - the notebook is returned to its place.
8. You can try to go to school - talk with the class teacher or the head of the educational unit. This must be done calmly and without nit-picking. Finding a common solution to the problem together is ideal. At the same time, it is not worth informing classmates or threatening them with reprisal - this will cause aggression on their part.

Important: If physical abuse is committed against a child, then it is necessary to act immediately. Contact the law enforcement authorities, you do not need to wait until your baby is crippled and inflicted a huge moral trauma.

It is also necessary to remember that the direct purpose of the teacher is to control the atmosphere in the classroom. This is an important aspect, which, unfortunately, many teachers forget.

How to develop a core in a child?

Of course, if your baby initially has a strong spirit and character, bullying will stop quickly. But all the children are different - there are vulnerable and emotional kids. The parent's task is not to reproach the child for his character, but to make it clear that sometimes, in order to feel “at ease” in the team, it is important to be strong mentally. There are several ways to do this:

1. Even if your baby is not successful in anything, it’s important to admire him. After all, he tried, tried, discovered new skills. Otherwise, your child will be afraid next time to start a business - in case of failure, the parents will again scold or condemn him. It is important that the child knows for sure that you appreciate and be proud of the efforts made.
2. No need to over-patronize the child. Otherwise, he will not be able to solve his own problems in the future, but this is necessary, because after school the child expects a university where mom and dad will not be around. Provide the child with the right to choose and the opportunity to solve their problems on their own, the task of the parent is to gently guide and prompt.
3. No need to demand from the child any fantastic achievements. In any case, he tries, so you need to take the baby for who he is. Patience will be rewarded a hundredfold in the future - your task is to show it.
4. Need to make a choice? Do not tell your child what is best to do in a given situation, only he can make a decision. By imposing your opinion on the child, in any case, you shift the responsibility onto yourself, and the baby will eventually grow up to be an independent person who cannot figure out the current situation.
5. Many parents are annoyed by overly curious children. All psychologists say that this is fundamentally wrong. Let your baby know this, be a support for him. Otherwise, how can he find out the answer to this question?
6. No need to criticize, much less angry. Naturally, you need to explain to the child why it is impossible to act badly in certain situations. Point him out if he behaved incorrectly somewhere. But one should not forget about support, it is also important to propose various options for action.
7. It is very important to teach the child to be persistent. He must understand that the path to victory is often long and difficult, and do not give up in case of defeat, but stubbornly go to your goal.

Following these tips, you can educate a self-sufficient and self-confident person who certainly will not suffer attacks from peers, but will give them a worthy rebuff.

The child is offended at school: recommendations of a lawyer

1. By law, every child has the right to live in a safe environment. If he is offended, this is a direct violation, therefore, these people may be subject to criminal punishment.
2. In any organization where children study, the task of the teacher is to provide a friendly atmosphere in the team.
3. There are special institutions where you can turn in case your child is bullied. They make sure that violators of rights are punished.
4. No need to independently clarify the conflict with the offender or his parents. The best option is to solve the situation through the class teacher. Moreover, you can not use force against the offenders of your baby - otherwise the criminal responsibility falls already on your shoulders.

Video: what to do if other children offend the child?