A child steals money from parents: what to do?

Each parent dreams that his child grows up healthy, happy and smart, and most importantly, obeys mom and dad. Indeed, from the height of adult years, it seems to us that we all know and are better than them. But it so happens that the rainbow of ideas about the ideal behavior of the child is broken up into harsh reality - money is stolen by the son or daughter. What to do in this situation? Calm down and reconcile with the fact that many children carry money or go on the principle and severely punish the child, so that from now on it would be inconvenient?

This is a rather complicated issue and any actions should be carefully considered. After all, even a carelessly abandoned word can cause a cold relationship with a child in the future. Sometimes rash actions lead to childish resentment, which remains with the child for many years. In this article, we will try to understand why children steal money from their parents, how to react to such behavior and how to prevent an incident in the future.

Why does a child steal money

First you need to try to understand why a child is stealing money? What inspired him to do this? The general emotional picture of what is happening may depend on this. It is one thing when the son took the money to treat a homeless dog, and another when he skipped his father’s salary with friends. To find out the true cause of what happened, you do not need to raise your voice at the child, scream and read notations to him. Try to build a trusting relationship and find a contact first. Often thefts occur in the teenage period, children at this time are quite aggressive and closed. But try to find the thread that you can pull on. Leave a conversation with your child and ask why he did this. Usually, children steal money from their parents for the following reasons.

1. It happens that a child takes money, simply believing that they are common, because the family and the budget are common. But this usually happens in young children - up to 7 years, they still can not distinguish between "friend or foe."
2. Most often, the child steals money, because he wants to buy chewing gum, sweets and other rubbish, but there is no money. After all, everything is replete with temptations, friends buy what they want. Frankly, do you give your child pocket money, and at the same time give them the opportunity to manage their money? Of course, the lack of pocket money does not justify theft, however, if you always refuse to the child in trifles like chewing gum, saying that it is harmful, you just leave him no other choice.
3. Sometimes theft is pushed by the desire to assert oneself in the company of older and more impudent peers. This is especially pronounced if the child is not understood at home, dad dismisses hanging out together, and mother considers the hobbies of airplanes to be nonsense. With the help of parental money, a child wants to show himself in a new company, gaining the trust of its “leaders” by buying various sweets, etc.
4. It happens that theft is a simple way of attracting the attention of parents to their person. Frankly, when did you devote all your free time to your child? All day you spend time away from each other, and in the evenings persuade the child to keep up with you, because you need to cook dinner, tidy up and throw things in the laundry. “And anyway, go do your homework,” you say. Dad is also busy - he is watching an important political news review. The child understands that in order for him to pay attention, something special must happen to him, because it was not for nothing that his parents rushed about like mad when he had a sore throat with a high fever.And then the child decides to attract the attention of parents precisely by stealing money. And even though this attention is shown by screaming, anger and punishment, but this is already an achievement - after all, he achieved this attention. If the reason is precisely this - it is not a child's reproach, but to you. Indeed, in fact, theft in this case is a dumb cry for help.
5. Some children steal on an argument or "weakly." They try to establish themselves among friends by overcoming fear and gaining the coveted gain. In this case, we can say that the child has a real inferiority complex, and he cannot put himself in society correctly, cannot achieve respect in other ways.
6. Children can steal if they see an example in front of them. If you take and find the wallet you found in your pocket, take the pens from various cash desks and, without asking, appropriate the neighbor’s shovel, the child understands that there is nothing dangerous or evil in this.
7. It happens that parents speak angrily about a rich neighbor, saying that he stole money. The child sees the “beautiful” life of a more successful neighbor and begins to understand that taking without demand is good, living better.
8. Sometimes quiet and even withdrawn children begin to steal. If you are confident in the moral qualities of your child, it is possible that older teens are forcing him to do this. Often weak-minded children are forced to steal money under pain of beating his or her younger brothers and sisters. It is very important to enter into a frank conversation with the child.

This is not a complete list of reasons that can push a child to theft. Talk heart to heart with your son or daughter, and you will understand why the child stole the money.

How to respond to child theft

So, the fact of theft was recorded. In no case do not blame the child if you are not sure that it was he. In life, anything happens, money could be stolen by a dishonorable neighbor who checked the utility services, but they could even be pulled out in transport! Even after apologizing for the unfair accusation, the sediment will remain. Therefore, a conversation with a child should only be after full confidence that he did this.

First of all, you need to cope with aggression and try not to scream at the child. Especially in a public place. Do not scold the child with strangers - this can cause him trauma, guilt and shame will remain with him for life. Even the whole family is not worth scolding a child. It is necessary that parents (without brothers and sisters) talk with the child for cleanliness. It is necessary to find out why he committed such an act. If the older children extorted this money, be sure to contact the law enforcement authorities, do not leave the child alone - he should know that there will be opposition to any disenfranchised action. The child must know that you can always protect him.

If he took the money of his own free will, ask him why he did it. It is necessary to explain to the child about their desires and priorities. Be sure to start giving your child money - for small pocket expenses. After all, he becomes an adult and also participates in trade and market relations. But not immediately, but after a while, so that the child does not think that this is an incentive for theft. The presence of pocket money perfectly brings up a child of any age. You can explain to him that managing money is very interesting. You can spend all the money in one day by buying chocolates and sweets, or you can collect them and buy a bike or tablet for your savings. Financial education is a very important factor in the development of the child.

In conversations with the child, there should often be conversations on the topic "What is good and what is bad." Instill moral values ​​for your son and daughter, say that you can’t take someone else’s. Talk about the fact that rich people are well done, they achieved everything with their skills and knowledge, even if this is not always true.In the future, the child will strive for knowledge, to obtain quality skills of the chosen profession in order to achieve real heights. In no case do not scare the child with a prison term and a dubious future. Also, do not compare it with a brother or sister. Besides the fact that you sow enmity in kinship, this way you grow an inferiority complex in your child. Tell the child that you love him and worry about him, that stealing is not good, ugly and embarrassing. Say that you want to deal with the problem together, that you always support it on the way to fix it. In general, a child should hear understanding, not hysteria and aggression.

How to prevent theft from recurring

Firstly, the situation needs to be closed on the same day that you dismantled it. Do not remind about theft every day, and even more so, to shame before your grandmother or reproach with every lost penny. A child may feel guilty, which will then be difficult to get rid of.

So that the incident does not happen again in the future, try to develop respect for the child. You make money and distribute it yourself. A son or daughter should respect this and not touch the money without your knowledge. At the same time, you need to learn to show respect for the child - his desires and needs. If he asks to buy him new headphones, do not rush to purchase them, but do not refuse him unconditionally. Say that every week you give him a certain amount, if he does not spend them, he will be able to buy headphones in a month's time. Or say that while you do not have the opportunity to buy what you want, but after 5 days you will receive a salary and will certainly buy them. It is important to seek compromises, the blank wall of misunderstanding always pushes for theft.

At the same time, it is very important to teach the child the right attitude to money, clothes, toys. From an early age, mothers reassure young children who are soiled in puddles - nothing, they say, is scary, we wash or buy a new T-shirt. The child grows up and without fear goes to play football in a new white shirt - after all, mom will buy a new one, if that. In this case, the child thinks that finance is an endless resource and can be taken from your mother’s wallet as much as you like.

If a child has stolen parental money - do not rush to attack the child with accusations, screams, corporal punishment and prohibitions. The future of your child depends on what words you choose. After all, this is your baby, you yourself must know the key with which his heart opens. Try to understand the cause of theft and eliminate it. And then the stolen money will become only a memory that you will not tell anyone else.

Video: what to do if a child steals money from parents